In which I die and become a fugitive from justice
Another hospital trip under the belt.
I left the house at half seven this morning and arrived at the hospital with just enough time to walk to the unit that does the cancer treatment. I swear it’s a mile of corridors but I may be wrong.
Anyhows, after the obligatory wait myself and the rest of the bunch in the waiting room were shepherded en mass to the treatment room.
The treatment room is strange. It is basically like a long corridor and along one wall there are loads of identical chairs. They are a bit like dentists’ chairs without the dentists as each one has its bunch of electronics and a coat hanger for the drugs. I grabbed a chair and adjusted anything that could be adjusted until I was really comfortable. They duly came to me and stuck a needle in my arm. A bag of something was hung on the cat hanger and they left me to it. I fell asleep.
Just as a word of warning to you all, if ever you are in a treatment room for a serious medical problem, it isn’t advisable to fall asleep. The staff had a bit of a panic and I woke to frantic calls of my name only to find myself surrounded by nurses. They breathed a communal sigh if relief when I apparently did a biblical resurrection from death.
Having emptied one bag of unspecified liquid into my arm, they came at me with another bag. Before hanging this on the hanger they carefully covered it with a green plastic sheath. I asked what that was about and apparently this was the indicator that I was getting Innunotherapy: a purple shroud indicates Chemotherapy. There’s bit of insider information for you.
Anyways I went back to sleep until my green bag was empty.
On the way home I received a phonecall It was an automated message form the European Fraud Office or some-such daft title. There was suspicious activity in my bank account and I was to press 1 immediately to talk to the Irish Fraud Office [?] or else I would be taken into custody within half an hour. Seeing as it probably would take me more than half an hour to get home my chances of arrest were slim. I closed the call.
I just had another call from them. This time it was from Belgium [0032 472 36 821] but had an identical message. I am to be placed into custody forthwith as I didn’t press 1. That was a couple of hours ago so The Irish Fraud Squad are late for my arrest.
I think I’ll have a sleep while waiting for them
I once fell asleep in a dentist chair after he numbed me up and left for the obligatory ten minutes while the anesthetic took full affect. I don’t recommend it (for obvious reasons).
Have you been arrested yet?
I’m still a free agent. I could do with a decent night’s sleep though.
Think positive, if you’re arrested and extradited to Belgium, their health service may be better than the Irish one, the hospital food of mussels, chips and chocolate would probably be an improvement too.
But then again, I suppose it could just have been a routine scam-call . . . . .
In general I am happy enough with the health service here. I am utterly confused though as there was a news item recently saying that cancer patients were having to wait months for an appointment. I had to wait about a week. Am I really so important?
I always take these calls very seriously as one never knows when suspicious activity in ones bank accont is occuring, (usually it is the wife) and the and the apprehension of being arrested by the finacial equivalent of the sweeny makes the day pass pleasantly.
I once had a fine time winding up a scammer. It was one of those “I am from Microsoft and will help fix your Windows” scams. I went along with him as he patiently told me how to navigate through Windows while I played the part of the bewildered old fart [where abouts is the Any Key?]. In the end I felt sorry for him as he was tearing out his hair in frustration while I just played solitaire, so I told him I wasn’t even using Windows. I learned some interesting new swear words…..