Just trying to explain
For a few weeks now I have been boring the arse off everyone with my single-minded posting about cancer.
It’s not exactly a pleasant topic and a lot of people still avoid the word as if the mere mention would bring the skies down on their head.
There are several reasons I bang on about it. The first is that it actually helps me to stick some of my thoughts up onto the Cloud and get those thoughts in order. As a by product, writing about it tends to bring out the idiot in me where I make fun of it [if possible].
Another reason is that the variation I have is a rare one, I’m not even sure if I have the rare one or an even rarer sub-version. Cancer Research UK mentions Nasal and paranasal sinus cancer as a rare variety, but they seem to originate in the nasal cavity or the sinuses, whereas my little crop seems to originate in the nasal passage or on the septum. Maybe someone out there may come across my meanderings and feel better that they are not entirely alone?
Another thought which has crossed my mind is that I am heading into extremely dangerous territory. I can’t remember when I last had a total anesthetic but it was a long time ago. I do know that the dangers associated with anesthetics increases dramatically with age. Certainly this is the biggest operation I will ever have, Could it be that I will finally shuffle off my mortal coil on Tuesday week? Could these be my last posts? A morbid thought maybe, but I believe in facing reality. At least I’ll be going out with a bang and not a whimper. I’m not afraid of death. I am afraid of dying if it involves pain or suffering so the idea of just being anesthetised and not waking up is not a bad one. Maybe not so nice for Herself or the family but there is little I can do about that.
Looking ahead to after the operation, I am going to be physically different unless they can pull off a rare miracle. Will I have periods where I look at my disfigurements and regret having had surgery? More than likely. So I was contemplating writing the unvarnished, raw facts about what I am going through now. Lay it on thick with graphic accounts of the negatives I am enduring. I may even nauseate the planet by sticking up a lurid photograph or two which would guarantee a dash to the bathroom for the casual reader. It would give me something to read back on in my darker moments to remind myself what life was like pre-operation.
If I do venture down that road it will presumably not be pleasant reading. It will sound like I am whinging and complaining and just looking for sympathy. Nothing could be further from the truth. I will be writing solely for my own benefit and would probably be better for the casual reader to skip reading my experiences altogether. Seeing as I don’t keep a private journal [or even a diary] then this is the logical place to keep my notes.
So I’m sorry if cancer is boring.
It just looms rather large in my life at the moment.
Be boring to your heart’s content.
Keep at it.
Whatever works for you, go for it auld fella. Sez me, who is probably more mature than yourself.
As for gruesome pictures, I have become immune thanks to the interesting pictures put on UK fag packets in order to amuse smokers.
Just keep taking the medecine, Mrs Jameson’s finest, and if comes to it, invest in a bejewelled, finely crafted, Phantom of the Opera style mask.
Good luck. We are all rooting for you, in a non-antipodean fashion.
I always look forward to reading your profound thoughts and insights on a daily basis.
Be as boring as you like, anything that helps you through. After the enjoyment you have brought to your readers we are on your side and wish you well even if we are too far away to be of practical help.
You’re never boring.
Wishing you a great surgeon and a lot of good luck.
About 40 years ago i had a temporary job working the nightshift in a woodworking factory, One night on the radio a woman who was a sort of medical history researcher said they wondered why in banbury there was a few cases of nasal cancer considering it wasnt a traditional woodworking area then they found out a lot of wooden stretchers had been made in ww2..I was only there 3 weeks but it felt like a had a cold all the time..In 1967 i was involved in a car crash and finished up in york hospital and the man in the next bed had a false nose.. it looked alright both on and off… anyway the best of luck
Regards Robbo
Keep at it and not boring at all. Many people I know have written about their cancer journey in the United States. The most graphic one being a younger woman Mom of 3 with tongue cancer and her surgery was pretty brutal. You never know when your posts will help someone else get that nagging sore in their nose checked out. I have seen many pics in my skin cancer group of graphic images including huge section of the nose reconstructed because of skin cancer. Reconstruction surgery can do amazing things nowadays. We care.
Whatever helps you cope is fine. I have been reading your blog for many years and always will. Everyone handles cancer In their own way. There is not a lot of information about your rare cancer, some of my medical friends had not even heard of it! I am a little older than you and have not had any trouble with anisthetics despite smoking since my teens. Everyone will be hoping all goes well. Best of luck.
Cancer never seems to mind where it strikes. A young man living close to me developed cancer of the testes, diagnosed with it about a year after marriage. Fortunately, his wife supported him through his treatment, and they have adopted 2 lovely children, so there can be some sort of light at the end of the tunnel. Although your readers, and I include myself in this, are not there physically, we are there for you in spirit. Best wishes.
Taking photos, especially through recovery, can be very positive.
A lady of my acquaintance had an early breast cancer episode (late 30s) resulting in surgery, she asked me to take a same-pose photo of her upper body on the first of every month, so she could see the recovery process in retrospect.
We did that for more than two years and the photo-file served to remind her how far she’d come and how good a recovery had been achieved.
That was 30 years ago now, she’s still going strong and still feels more positivity about her recovery, than negativity about the original cancer.
We’re wishing you well, but I’m going to write to the authorities to get them to reinstate the mask mandate. Can’t have you frightening the kiddies, can we? 😉
I have been reading your blog for a few years, even made the occasional comment. Stop worrying, over the years you have inspired, made me laugh, educated and made me look at things in a different way. For that I thank you, very very much…
Although you don’t realise it, you have been there through my bad times, your musings helped. I really don’t want you to stop. My prayers for what they are worth, are given freely. If you wish to, please continue. If not, I will miss you. Many thanks Grandad xxx
You might find it helps if you stop eating any form of sugar. Try it. You have nothing to lose. Apart from the cancer that is.
https://news.cancerresearchuk.org/2023/08/16/sugar-and-cancer-what-you-need-to-know/
Wishing you all the best and may it be a highly successful operation and after treatment. I’m sure any disfigurement can easily be rectified by prosthetics. You will be looking your old self in no time. Chin chin. Say hi to herself from my wife and me.
I am not much in the word smithing department but ‘lfb_uk’ summed things up perfectly for me. Do what you feel is best for you grandad, but if you decide not to continue you will be greatly missed.
You are going to be the same person with the same attitudes. The world needs more people with ATTITUDE!
The Male version of Anna in “The King and I”
Reading all of your musings here in the States has helped me so many times in so many ways….. keep up your writing and your spirit, you are a blessing to so many!
good luck and GodBless you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I have been through lung cancer surgery just recently and it went as expected. What I mean it went as I thought it would. Stay positive and all will go
.
I shall be by your side, in spirit.
And your scribbling is never boring.
May your God be with you and the meeting thereof be delayed.
Go for it.
Have you noticed how old people (including me) gathered together talk about their health and medical adventures? It’s only natural and a way of making challenging things more ‘ordinary’.
Still go for it.
I find your writings and openness inspirational.Keep at it.Our thoughts are with you.