The pragmatist speaks
This is by way of a follow-up to yesterdays little brainfart.
Though maybe it’s more of a response to the comments that were left on it.
First of all, I am as always somewhat humbled and grateful for those comments and their sentiments. Thank you one and all.
However I must explain a little more about myself and my life philosophies or even the lack of them. I would describe myself as neither an optimist nor a pessimist for either of those terms implies a certain element of forward thinking. I am more a pragmatist and I live each day as it comes. I rarely plan [ironic for someone who held the title of Senior Planning Officer for a large cable company?!] and I take each day as it comes. I know there are certain times when plans have to be laid down such as planning and booking a holiday, but I am talking about the simple day to day things. I have never planned. I never had an ambition to strive towards. I just go with the flow and the flow, as it happens, has been extraordinarily good to me.
So on Thursday I had a little shock. The shock was not in the diagnosis but rather in the use of the word “cancer” in the context of my life. I always knew it was a possibility just as there is a possibility of a diagnosis of any other ailment [some of which I would consider far far worse]. I confess I did do a little research and discovered that cancer of the nose is rare compared to cancers of other parts and that it is trivial in comparison to, say, cancer of the spine or brain. Having done my research I promptly forgot about it again.
I live from day to day. I have no idea what I am even going to do today though it might be a good time to do some tidying. I have no plans made for food. As for tomorrow – that is a blank. I’ll deal with it when it comes. There is no point in worrying about several days or weeks ahead as I’ll deal with them as they arrive also. Biopsy results are in the future and to me the future is almost an abstract world. The biopsy results will either be good or bad. There is absolutely no point in worrying about then now. I’ll deal with them when they happen.
So what’s on my list of important items to attend to at the moment?
Put on the kettle!
First of all I’m really sorry to hear about your nose situation, though to be honest I suspected it was much more than a lingering sinus infection. Secondly, I really admire your attitude, it certainly goes a long way in dealing with the stress that the aging body throws our way. What else can we do except deal with it right? I’m finding that out first hand myself the last 12 months. It’s a holiday weekend in the United States which will delay results from a CT scan I had Friday. Like you said, it will either be good or bad or in my case no change would be nice. But, there is not a damn thing I can do about it today. Best of luck Grandad, I’m thinking of you.
Thanks Elaine. As I see it, there are three possible results from future tests – the growth is benign [judging by its rate of growth, it isn’t], it’s malignant [surgery] or it has spread [worse case scenario]. I’ll worry about it when the time comes but it has somewhat sharpened my mind about getting my house in order!
Granddad,
Thoughts with you old friend. Be strong and positive, for both yourself and your good lady.
You have the same attitude as my father had in these matters. He had enough that needed tending to today let alone fretting about things that may or may not happen next week. One day at a time and one issue at a time as they present themselves.
Good luck to you, I hope the biopsy results are negative.
I was diagnosed with prostate cancer a couple of years ago. The treatment: four weeks of radiotherapy, was painless although it has to be carried out with a full bladder which at my age is uncomfortable. Although it was rather amusing sitting in the waiting area, watching men come rushing out of the treatment room heading for the toilet. If you need treatment on your nose you’ll be spared that discomfort at least.
If the worst comes to the worst [and I’m not worrying yet..] I presume they’ll have to remove my nose leaving a hole which would scare the shit out of people, not least myself. I raised that possibility and that’s when the Prof mentioned reconstructive surgery and/or prosthesis. I doubt I’ll ever look the same again. And it would cause problems with passport/driving licence/travel pass!!
Just to say – keep looking up, not down…
It’s a bugger, but there’s a much better chance of winning this one!
I’ll share this thought from Legiron and wish you well:
“Sure, I have things to worry about but I’m not going to worry about things I can do nothing about. If it happens and I had no way to prevent it, well I’ll deal with it when it arrives. Or ignore it, if I still can’t do anything about it.”
All the Best