Our Penny has developed a new trick.

The combination of arthritis [which has led to muscle wastage] and dementia has led to a whole range of strange quirks and behaviours.

There are the minor ones like walking sideways – or rather at a forty five degree angle like a Lipizzaner horse – and a strange fascination with the door to the garage. Another trick is her circles, when she will stare a nothing in particular and then slowly rotate [always anti-clockwise] before resuming the stare. This can be repeated any number of times. She has also developed a fascination with bags, both of the plastic and paper variety and will happily root through them but without taking anything out.

One of her more dangerous foibles is trying to trip me up. I’m not sure if this is deliberate or accidental but she frequently will block me by standing sideways in my path and then anticipating with remarkable accuracy how I will try to get around her by quickly blocking that move. So far I haven’t actually fallen but it’s only a matter of time.

Her latest one is a strange one.

She has taken to waking me up in the night. It can be at any hour and she does this by poking me in the eye with her nose. I have this strange habit of sleeping with my eyes closed, so I will suddenly be woken by a very cold wet spongy nose poking my eyelid. Naturally I then open my eyes and there she is standing over me just staring. It’s a little unnerving.

Is she just testing to make sure I’m not dead? Is she annoyed with me for being asleep while she’s obviously wide awake? Is it just for the craic?

The first time she did it a few nights ago at around five in the AM I thought she wanted to be let out for a piss. I opened all the doors to the front garden and she went out. I went back to bed. Some time later I woke again because of the draft from all the open doors. There was no sign of Penny. I realised she had followed her morning routine and had gone around to the back door, so I had to traipse through the house to let her back in. I went back to bed again but I was too awake at that stage.

She has poked me regularly since, usually in my left eye. Now I just sleepily watch her and sure enough she eventually just curls up to sleep. So do I [though I leave out the curling bit].

I think I’m going to have to start wearing my glasses in bed.