Getting the measure of me
I have been surveyed yet again.
This morning at the ungodly hour of nine, a bloke turned up to measure the house. Fortunately he had phoned me the night before otherwise I mightn’t have had any clothes on. So I had set the alarm which is always bad as it leaves me doped for the rest of the day.
Anyhows this bloke came barging in with a tablet PC, a notebook and a smart phone. I told him that I had been surveyed before [three times] but he wasn’t going to be put off. He had come to measure, and measure he did. He fussed around for an hour or so taking notes and photographs and muttering to himself all the time before fucking off leaving his tablet PC on the kitchen table. I have enough PCs so I phoned him to let him know and he had to come back again.
I have worked it out. The first survey was to see if the house needed upgrading to meet their energy ratings or standards or whatever, as dictated by our Lords and Masters in the EU. He obviously decided it was worth the job and he passed it on to a colleague who appeared a couple of weeks later. He then did a more detailed survey deciding exactly what needed doing. Apparently I need my cavities pumped, my wall cladded and new windows. Grand. I’m not paying for any of it so they can do what they like provided they leave the roof, walls and foundations intact.
The weeks passed and another couple of blokes arrived. They were from a different company. Apparently I had been allocated a contracting company and these two were a pair of their finest. They were only interested in windows though and proceeded to measure each window inside and out.
Then last night out of the blue I get Yer Man;s phonecall leading to today’s survey. This, it seems, is the final one. He announced cheerfully that the next visit will be from the actual workmen. He doesn’t know which workmen: it might be the cladders or it might be the cavity pumpers. The only thing he was sure of was that the hole drillers [for vents or something] will come before the electricians. That’s a relief. The only thing he was really confident about was that they would be very noisy and would leave the place in a right fucking mess. That’s nice to know.
As usual there is no firm date when all this mess is promised. I asked if it could be done before the snowstorms and blizzards in April. He said he hoped so which was vaguely reassuring.
Now I think I’ll have with a nap.
All this excitement is very tiring.
Thing is GD, someone is paying. Yes, it’s “Government Money” but that someone turns out to be you.
Even if you aren’t paying income tax, you are paying VAT and tax on bakee, booze and fuel. Even if you manage to avoid that, every cent spent on your four surveyors and to be spent on upgrading your mansion will be a cent that isn’t spent on healthcare, roads or schools for your grandkids.
And even if you reckon that what you are getting out of your cavities, cladding and windows is worth more than the actual cost to you, you are also paying for all the other folks and their cavities, cladding and windows too. And with the added cost of all those cents being laundered through your Dear Government and the EU.
But then again, they say it might save the world from Wobal Gloaming so no expense is too much, eh?
My argument there is that they are going to help themselves to my cash, one way or another. If I weren’t getting the job done then they were hardly going to lower my taxes because of the saving? Basically I am deciding to grab back some before they waste it on something else. Anyhows, thsi is part of an EU thing and they are paying towards it so essentially every tax payer in the EU is helping me out at a cost to them of a fraction of a cent.
Yep, and there’s 488 million of ’em, each taking a fraction of a cent from you too 🙂
It’s the old diffuse costs and concentrated benefits trap. Of course you’ll pocket the bung that comes your way, but overall you’re the poorer. The ones making the money are those that lobbied for the “cavities, cladding and windows” scheme in the first place (the four surveyors’ professional organization, the guild of cavities, cladding and windows installers and the EU lobbyists paid for by them).
Nice work if you can get it 😉
https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/news/article-10390579/Botched-cavity-wall-insulation-ruining-homes-causing-damp-mould.html
I realise that you might have done more checking than shown on the blog, but be very careful about the government messing with your walls