The gravity of the situation
Ageing has its problems.
They go on about failing health, loneliness, poverty and the like but no one ever mentions one of the biggest and potentially most damaging problems – gravity.
Herself has the occasional mishap with gravity and it has reached the stage where I am unable to extricate her due to the same cause – gravity again. It now means calling for assistance. I finally worked out how to go about this. The simple answer is to dial 999 and ask for a Paramedic. As for an ambulance and one will turn up but will insist on carting Herself off to hospital, which rightly means a bout of hysterics. A Paramedic on the other hand will arrive on his own and between the two of us, gravity is no longer a problem.
I haven’t actually fallen myself in a very long time. There are regular instances [several a day] when Penny tries to trip me up, but she has her own major problems with gravity, so she is forgiven.
It has reached the stage where I grunt just getting out of an armchair. I don’t know why I grunt but it just seems now to be an essential feature whenever I fight that downward force. If Herself drops something from her bed I have to get up [grunt] and the bend to pick up the errant item [grunt]. I got one of those picky-up sticks which does save one grunt whenever I can find the damn thing.
The other day I went into the local hardware to buy some batteries. I brought one with me to make sure I got the correct replacement. It was one of those little disk batteries that are common in flat devices and they come in an amazing raft of different sizes. I accidentally dropped my sample battery on the shop floor. No sweat. I got down on one knee to pick it up and then found I couldn’t get up again. That never happened before. Maybe there is something in the hardware shop that attracts gravity and makes it stronger? What was worse was that a couple of other customers noticed my predicament and were rushing to help me. That was nice of them but I have my dignity. With some effort I achieved varticality by my own efforts but not without a good grunt.
I am noticing gravity ever more often. I seem to do a lot that involves ground-level work [mopping up Penny’s little lakes for example]. Bending down is never a problem: getting upright again is.
Gravity is a curse.
It’s all Newton’s fault.
Grunting gives you a little extra power. It’s why tennis players and karate – erm – players(?) grunt. When you’re young you don’t need it, when you’re old you need all the extra power you can muster.
I never realised, but apparently it’s true.
Well I never……!
Reminds me of a tv show we used to watch called “Big Bang Theory”. One of the characters was a Physicist named Sheldon Cooper. Sheldon was hanging a framed certificate of some sort and upon reaching the top the step ladder he dropped the tack he was going to hang the frame from. He looked down at the floor and said, “Oh Gravity, thou art a heartless bitch”.
How I can empathise with that! In one of my previous lives my job frequently involved working at the top of high ladders and fiddling around with little screws, little fuses and of course the necessary tools and meters. Gravity was a right curse. Fortunately I didn’t count myself amongst the fallen.
I have had the weak knee syndrome for a few years. Sadly no tremblering.
Before kneeling I have to make sure there is something solid nearby that I can use as a support on the way up.
Also since getting hearing aids I now realise that my knees creak or click.
Since acquiring this affliction I noticed that when the now late Queen was knighting somebody there was always an apparently antique armed chair right beside the beknighted one who could use the chair arm as a support. Probably the chair was steel framed and bolted securely to the floor.,
What I need is a satchel, or couriers bag that I can carry unobtrusively but which has a rigid frame and handle that I can use as an aid to elevation.
It would probably be classed as an offensive weapon. Much like Margaret Thatcher who “handbagged” people.
I too have suffered from gravity. In part, I think, it is the expected pain from an old knee pressing on a hard surface. The other ‘part’ is the lack of enough immediate power to start the elevation process.
However I have found that gravity is not so tiresome recently. Whether true or not I believe that regular dietary supplementation of Ubiquinol (the active form of CoQ10) has helped provide the ‘get up energy’ needed. I grunt less.
Snake oil or genuine finding (that may or may not work for you)? If anyone has tried it or tries it and finds it effective that would add another data point to the anecdote.