I’m childminding at the moment.

This involved driving through the clouds to collect Granddaughter the Younger from school. This in turn involved getting there early as the carpark is very small and I wanted to be able to park.

As I was standing there getting wet from the mist and drizzle a wee girl strode up to me.

“You’re Puppychild’s grandad?” says she.

“That’s very perspicacious of you” says I. “I am indeed”.

She wandered off all happy with herself. It was indeed rather remarkable as I am not exactly a regular visitor to the school, but then not many of the parents are over six foot, have a beard, a ponytail and a pipe. Not amongst the fathers anyway.

So we arrived back at the Manor in due course. GtY divested herself of her schoolbag [which weighs half a ton] and her coat, whereupon she disappeared. Life suddenly relapsed into silence again.

I realised she had wandered off into the old part of The Manor which is normally shut during the day to stop the dog shitting in there. We heard the odd sound from in there so we knew she was still breathing. I have no idea what she’s up to. Maybe she’s found some of my medication that’s lying around. Maybe she’s trying to find her way onto the roof though if she managed that I’d hear her footsteps over my head. Maybe she’s found some of my weapons.

She has just marched into the room. She said “Hi”, grabbed a sheet of paper out of the printer and vanished again.

No. She’s back again. She has plonked herself down at the kitchen table and is drawing animals attacking each other. She’s a weird child.

All in all this childminding lark is quite easy..