I had a little doze in my chair yesterday afternoon.

This was rather unfortunate as I had another appointment with the vet. I woke up and suddenly realised the appointment was in twenty minutes and I didn’t even have my shoes on.

Somehow I managed to put on shoes and a coat and even more miraculous I managed to persuade Penny into the car all in the space of five minutes. That’s a personal record.

The vet’s waiting room was at capacity when I arrived. Naturally dogs of all shapes and sizes shot towards us to investigate Penny. The latter just walked past them with her nose in the air. She doesn’t like dogs. In fact she is indifferent to dogs, cats, humans and virtually any living creature which is strange for a dog.

She behaved reasonably well as she had her stitches removed. It took quite a while as she doesn’t like anyone touching her legs, even me. But after a fair bit of wrestling all the stitches were removed and she was given a clean bill of health.

Naturally I got talking to the vet about dogs [what else?] and she asked if I wanted two Chihuahuas. Apparently her sister’s dog had produced and the sister was looking for homes for the offspring. I declined.

Maybe I should explain? I am a dog person. I love dogs but there is a catch. I do not like ankle-biters. Yappy little dogs leave me cold. I see them as fashion accessories and not much different to overgrown rats. Chihuahuas naturally are at the very bottom of the list, being very small, yappy and ankle-biters all at once. I suppose it’s their small size that makes them somewhat aggressive towards other dogs, a bit like small people. In fact dogs and people tend to fall into the same pattern – the larger the beast the more placid and friendly the temperament [did I mention I’m over six foot?]. Equally small people tend to be more aggressive [Putin? Hitler?].

So I declined the offer of two little yappers and used Penny as an excuse – I explained how upset she had been with the Callie experiment. The vet wasn’t bothered and said it was worth a try anyway.

On the way home Penny finally gave her opinion on the visit. She took a dump on the back seat of the car.

The stench was indescribable.