I see they’re messing with the village again.

Herself pointed out the news which appears on just one obscure site. I searched, but it doesn’t appear anywhere else. Sneaky bastards.

The village has always had a slightly strange layout. Basically it consists of narrow roads that all meet in a “square” which is actually a triangle around the monument. All the roads leading into the village are two lanes wide. But seeing as everyone parks on those roads that leaves just one lane to drive on. We’re all used to this and work on the principle that whoever is first into the stretch has the right of way and any oncoming vehicle just waits at the top [or bottom]. It’s neat and it works, apart from the few idiots who’ll meet you head on and refuse to reverse out.

A good while back they decided to build a pedestrian crossing. Naturally it wasn’t placed where most people wanted to cross but that’s by the by. The black and white boxes were painted on the road and traffic lights were erected. They looked hideous. Then some smart arse did the village a favour and rand into the lights and knocked them down. They removed the lights and replaced them with those amber flashing lollipops.

In the meantime someone had the brilliant idea of closing one of the three roads that made up the square. There was no reason for it apart from the council calling it a “pedestrianised area”. It caused major disruption as cars and buses could no longer use the triangle for turning. Once you arrived in the village there was no obvious way of going home again. People [i.e. me] started doing U-turns down at the square at the one wide spot.

Soon enough, someone ran into the pedestrian crossing and demolished the lollipops. They were removed and never replaced. Something very strange happened. Cars started taking the crossing very seriously even tough it wasn’t signposted and the only indication of its presence was the black and white strip across the road. Where previously you’d take your life in your hand crossing over it suddenly worked like a dream. You only had to stand withing ten feet of the crossing and traffic would all halt. Many’s the time I have just been standing there watching Penny having a piss in the gutter only to find the village at a near standstill as everyone waited for me to cross, whether I wanted to cross or not.

Which brings us to the latest – they are apparently introducing a speed limit!

Cllr Rory O’Connor has welcomed the announcement of a new low-speed limit in the village, which will take effect on the 1st of June. The new speed limit will be set at 30 kp/h, making the village safer for pedestrians, cyclists and motorists alike.

Safer? No one to my knowledge has been killed or even injured so far as I know. In fact the only real hazards are the fucking cyclists.

The introduction of the new low-speed limit followed a period of public consultation lasting from October 12th to November 25th. Cllr O’Connor has been a vocal advocate for the new limit, arguing that it will help to reduce accidents and create a more pleasant and welcoming environment in the village.

This is the first I’ve heard of any consultation and I keep my ear fairly close to the ground. Maybe they just asked the local priest? As for reducing accidents, he makes it sound like there’s a stream of ambulances serving all those poor traffic victims. He’ll be reducing zero to zero.

” I strongly believe villages are made for people and not cars. This is a big step forward to realise that vision. The safety aspect will also help create peace at mind for parents. As we have two big primary schools with kids often prevalent in the village. This will create a level of safety for them and reduce the chances of an accident “

Villages are made for people and not cars.? Fuck me! That’s the kind of “green” “eco friendly” shite that is driving the modern world. It’s a meaningless catchphrase so beloved of those who would have us eating insects and forgoing all forms of fire. The twat obviously doesn’t live in the countryside where a car is an essential prerequisite. As for the schools – there is one with another some distance away plonked in the middle of a field for some strange reason. The kids are all sensible [I never thought I’d say that] and keep to the footpaths. I have never seen them running around the roads.

Why do I think the good counselor is just trying to make a name for himself?

I have a name for him:

Annoying cunt.