I am getting a hell of a lot of mails offering me $100 vouchers.

Seeing as all these vouchers are for companies based in the States it seems a bit pointless.

Recently I have received a lot trying to get me to buy some doggy toy which is a bit pointless as Penny isn’t interested in any sort of play. She is strictly an eat-and-sleep sort of dog. The messages come with the strap-line “My two dogs love this ball“. I was tempted to write back with a photo of a dog with its tongue hanging out and the strap-line “My two balls love this dog“. I resisted the temptation.

I received a very weird one the other night though as it wasn’t any form of spam. It was on WhatsApp which can only receive messages if my address is in their contacts address book. It was from a bloke who did some work for us recently and I had exchanged [business] mails with him in the past. The message was [and I quote] –

My fantasy is to have a threesome mmf with a hot guy and a good looking girl looking you

This was immediately followed by two photographs of hairless, well oiled male torsos. Fortunately the photos were cropped at the bottom before getting into the danger area.

What the fuck?

This was followed a short while later with another message –

I have 3 g for coke we have amazing sex you and me kiss and lacking have dick and talk coke and you the bass

Fucking hell! I’m not even sure what half of that means.

A short while later my phone pinged. Another message had arrived. I opened WhatsApp and there were sixteen images of various males in various stages of undress. Sadly these images weren’t cropped and I saw sights I really did not want to see. The time had come to throw a spanner in the works before things developed into a very uncomfortable area. I sent a message back-

Could you check who you are sending these to. Not me I hope.

Strangely enough, I haven’t heard from him since…