Avoiding the dregs
There are certain programmes on television which I assiduously avoid.
These include any programme involving couples on a desert island. Invariably this features “celebrities” who are non-entities I have never heard of nor want to hear of. We are supposed to identify with the characters and vote for them, or something. While desert islands are doubtless very scenic, the location’s prime objective is to get the “contestants” to swan around in skimpy swimwear, or less. In other words, pure sad voyeurism.
There are of course sub-sets of the above. I came across one where contestants are supposed to appraise others by examining close-up of their various naked body parts. This involves close-ups of tits, fannies and pricks. I couldn’t believe it when I first saw it and decided that standards surely have reached rock bottom. I have never seen anything less sexy in my life.
Another sub-set is getting families to subject themselves to some health regime. We are supposed to cheer them on as they abandon their pizzas and takeaway curries and listen to them being nagged about their “lifestyles”. Why anyone would want to volunteer themselves to be publicly humiliated in television is beyond me. Are people really that desperate to get on screen?
A different class of programme though is the “blood and guts” variety. These involve tearing around in ambulances and helicopters in order to see first hand some nasty accident where hopefully we’ll see lots of blood and broken bones. Why anyone would want to watch another person’s pain and injury is beyond me. Is this aimed at latent sadists?
There is one programme though that has me totally baffled. It’s on satellite and regularly pops up on the menu of choices. I refer to “Dr Pimple Popper”. This is a programme I have avoided simply on the basis of its name. What possible enjoyment or entertainment value is there in watching boils and pimples being lanced?
Last night I watched something or other on Netflix. It was some drama whose name I have already forgotten but that’s beside the point. When I finished the programme I disconnected from Netflix. When that happens, my television set defaults to the satellite channels. There, in wide-screen high definition and glorious technicolour I was greeted with a close up view of a very large hole in somebody’s skin as pus and gore was being swabbed out of it. This was the one programme I had been trying so hard to avoid. It was disgusting. My stomach churned. I couldn’t switch off the television fast enough.
Why would anyone in their right mind want to watch that programme?
This does remind me of a somewhat comical incident from 30 years or so back.
I developed a cyst right on top of my head. I went in to see my doctor about it and he said he could take care of it on this visit if I wanted to. Well, I’m here now let’s get it done. He got all set up for it and told me he had a pre-med student in the office and would I mind her sitting in on this procedure to observe. Well, I’m all for education so I didn’t mind one bit. Doc introduced her as Julie and told her where to sit for the best view.
He made one small cut, and something hit the floor. Doc opened the door and told his nurse “Julie passed out and I need some help getting her out of here.”
I don’t know if Julie ever finished her pre-med or not.
Two things that churn my stomach – lancing pus filled boils and drilling teeth. Julie has my sympathy.
Don’t mention drilling teeth, gives me the willies, just before the great plague scam started i had two implants done, dentist really does use a small impact drill to go deep into your jaw bones, at the final fitting some weeks later you can feel the click of his small torque wrench as you screws in the final caps, began to feel like i should be changing my name to a brand of truck.
The only really painful part was paying, i’m in the wrong job.
You still watch Netflix? Is there anything on it worth watching?
We haven’t had it that long [three or four months?]. It’s quite good for series It’s a bit annoying though when it comes to categories. I specified English language only but it still suggests some foreign language items. With our fading memories it’s good for re-watching stuff we have seen before!
Happy New Year, Grandad!
Perhaps these vile programmes are the modern version of the Romans’ ‘circuses’ (the pizza is now the ‘bread’ bit), the brutality of which crowds appeared to enjoy. Individually, most of us avoid such ‘entertainment’, as our personal ethics predominate. But crowds do behave differently, usually to the lowest common denominator, or basest desires.
The idiot box is well-named.
And a Happy New Year to you too, sir. I can actually imagine the pleasure in watching a pit full of lions and politicians? That’s a programme I could record and keep repeating.
I have retreated to ITV 3. If I watch Miss Marple episodes three times, I begin to spot the clues.
Don’t worry Ian. Another ten years or so and you’ll be able to watch it repeatedly [and Morse and Midsomer Murders] without remembering who Miss Marple is, let alone the clues.
We finally fully retreated from television probably 10 years ago, it hadn’t yet plunged the depths described so am grateful for that small mercy, mainly it was to get away from propaganda programming.
We have Amazon and Netflix accounts and those contain more than enough fims etc for the diminishing periods we spend in front of the box.
Last week at work a colleague sat waiting for me in front of a canteen telly tuned to 8am morning tv which he was flicking through, i didn’t watch the thing with him for the 15 minutes we chatted though he appeared transfixed as if he had to watch.
Between the flashing lights and the messaging that was entering my subconscious i started to feel most uncomfortable even in that short time, seriously something has changed in normal television and cancelling the UK telly tax and switching the thing off has been one of the best decisions we’ve made, i’ll make sure never to get anywhere near a televsion tuned to normal/state broadcasters again for the rest of my natural.
As for idiot programs, as these celeb (alleged) type things tend to be i’ve always avoided them…celebs too…what the hell is wrong with people wishing to watch a spot being squeezed.
Film wise, heard so many raving about the recent Top Gun film, its on one of our services currently and watched it last night, basically a remake of the previous film with more cringe making hollywood heroes saving the world, you could predict everything that was going to happen, the only saving grace was the aircraft filming was excellent though how much of that was CGI i don’t know, have an inkling it won’t be long before we give up those accounts too and switch the idiot box off permanently.
The routine here is simple – usually Mrs Rambles has the radio on all day and I join her at six to watch the news. Usually there is only crap on the main channels so we drift around Netflix. I usually choose the programmes I’m not interested in as a cue to cook dinner or do the washing up.
I did download Top Gun but haven’t watched it. Mrs R wouldn’t be interested so I would have to watch it on the laptop. But I’m not that desperate.
Top Gun is a good one.
And, if you get in the mood for a Western; Open Range is another to look at. (The bad guy in this one is Irish.)
Like Top Gun. Dislike Tom Cruise. Herself dislikes anything “manly”. Outvoted.
Maybe I’ll watch it on my laptop?