Brass monkeys beware
Our Met service is getting all excited again.
Apparently… and you’re not going to believe this… it’s going to get cold! I know this is December but that’s a bit harsh?
Temperatures are actually expected to drop below freezing for the first time in a thousand years this century since last winter. Mein Gott! What are we going to do?
Thankfully the powers that be are providing useful help for us dumb minions. They suggest we keep warm for a start. I actually wouldn’t have though of that clever subterfuge. Having spent the last few weeks telling us to turn down the heating to save oil they’re now telling us to turn the heating up again which I do find a little confusing. But the idea of using the heating to keep warm is quite radical and I have to hand it to them. Actually I do hand quite a wodge of cash to them every time I buy heating oil but that’s beside the point.
They also suggest we search the house for draughts. Again, this is a clever move as I always thought draughts were part of life. Having lived in draughty houses in the past I was a bit worried that the Manor doesn’t seem to have any. Maybe I should create some so I can block them up again?
They are also quite worried about my driving. They talk about a strange substance called ice which apparently makes the roads slippery. In all my seventy plus years I must have come across that before, but then the memory isn’t what it was. I’m glad they warned me anyway.
Our Met people are of course very excited about this thing galled cold. They are starting to issue their coloured warnings and the excitement in their eyes is plain to see. Apparently we are to expect [and I quote] “Hazardous conditions. A sharp to severe frost with icy surfaces, as temperatures widely fall to – 4 degrees Celsius.“. I can already visualise the glaciers forming up the valley and creeping down towards me. We are to watch out though as they may upgrade their warnings at any time as there was even mention of the possibility of snow. Snow in December? Whatever next?
Already we have had one death in the family due to this cold thingy.
Poor Charlie the Rook didn’t make it through the night.
RIP Charley.
How did you know it wasn’t Sheryl?
He introduced himself.
Oh, that’s sad, a friendly rook is just fine to have around. I’ve had one recently flying into a small window, possibly attracted by some shiny object within. Usually when it was very quiet – I’ll hear a loud ‘bonk’ and see a semi-stunned bird outside. It’s stopped now I’ve moved all the things which might have been attractive to it.
Bit chilly in Kent too, but I discovered about 70 years ago that clothes keep you warm. Perhaps yer modern yoof do not know this?
Rooks aren’t exactly in short supply here. We have hundreds [thousands?] of them around here. They literally can darken the skies on a winter’s evening when they take to the air in clouds. Maybe I can entice a few and train ’em?
Working in a school where most of the children come by bus, I wondered if there were some temperature at which the buses would not run.
A Google search on ‘what temperature would cause the cancellation of school bus services’ caused me literally to laugh out loud. A range of temperatures was suggested by various sites, between -35 and -45 degrees Celsius. I suddenly realized I was looking at details for Canadian school bus services
Wait until there’s a flurry of snow. Half an inch and the entire country grinds to a standstill.