I received a phone call this morning.

This was somewhat unusual as most people know that my brain doesn’t really get into gear until the passing of the noonday sun. Even worse it was one of those “withheld” numbers. I answered it anyway, more out of curiosity than for any other reason.

It was my friend, the Inspector.

I documented Inspector’s visit before, when he came to look at my poor old water tank on the roof with its covering of plastic. He had barely glanced at it, declared it was suitable grant material and then turned his attention to the bathroom. He was fascinated with the bathroom and found all sorts of modifications we could claim for.

This morning he turned up a mere half hour after the phone call. Once again I traipsed him up onto the roof. He had a grand poke and prod around and agreed the Roofers had done a brilliant job. Apparently I’m to expect a full refund from the Council within the next week or two. He took some photographs and I wondered if he wanted to look at my bathroom again.

No.

This time he became fixated by my windows.

I will be the first to admit that my windows are not my best feature. The ones at the back of the manor are fine [PVC, double glazed] but the ones at the front are somewhat neglected. They are single glazed and wooden framed though a lot of the wood has quietly rotted and is held in place by about a century of layers of paint. I had indeed put those windows somewhere near the bottom of the list of jobs to be done. Sometime. No hurry. But Inspector is now keen that I upgrade to PVC and double glazing. Triple glazing was going a bit far so double will have to do and he will recommend a full grant for the job.

I presume that means that if I get the bathroom and windows overhauled that he will have to come out again to sign off on the work? And if he is happy with my shiny new bathroom and windows will his roving eye turn to something else he can get the council to pay for? Maybe a new car? The grounds could do with a complete overhaul [fucking brambles!]. A decent driveway would be nice where I didn’t have to mow the weeds on it?

I like the Inspector.