I really have to admire their ingenuity.
Their first attempt was many years ago when they persuaded the world that smoking a single cigarette would cause instant death from cancer.
Then they broadened their scope by declaring that merely passing a smoker in the open air meant instant and excruciating death. That one really worked and they realised that yes, it is possible to scare the shite out of an entire population. They were on a roll.
Next they tried food, alcohol, salt, fat and God knows what else, but the Plain People of Ireland were getting tired of this instant death lark and the vast majority did the sensible thing and ignored them.
They decided to switch tack. If people are tired of predictions of cancer then try something else. A Virus! Yes, that worked perfectly and the Plain People were terrified again.
And along came Monkeypox, but people just yawned and declared they had had enough of viruses. Time to change tack again.
Their latest claim is that the ground we live on is killing us. They did try this one before with little effect so they are bumping up their figures and adding 170,000 homes to the list of death traps where Radon will surely kill us. And if you smoke and breath Radon then you are truly fucked. In fact you are so fucked that you were probably dead before you were born.
They have stuck up an interactive map which of course doesn’t work. This of course convinces people that if they could only see the map that they would be in a Radiation Hazard Death Zone. Maybe they’ll get around to fixing the map but the damage [hopefully] will be done by then. I’m not going to panic as I know I’m in a high risk area [lots of lovely Granite under me] which just adds a bit of zest to life
So if I have to live long and prosper I have to give up smoking [and so will Herself], stop eating, wear a mask and keep washing my hands and now I have to fork out a couple of grand to take Radon out of the air and pump it … into the air. Or stop breathing?
Fuck it. I’ll take my chances.