Dick Turpin is alive and living in Ireland
I used to have a little admiration for Professor John Fitzgerald.
I don’t know why. He just seemed like a nice bloke with a cheerful countenance and a bit of humour.
That has changed recently.
I have discovered he’s a cunt.
For a start he has become one of those Climate Change fanatics and occasionally he crops up warning us about all those tragedies the are supposed to fall on us but never do.
What boiled my piss though is a piece he did about our forthcoming budget showing how he loves the idea of taxation.
First of all, what is tax? It is nothing short of the gubmint dipping their hands in our pockets and taking as much as they like from us. They take a slice of our earnings. They take a slice of nearly every purchase we make. Now the take an annual chunk out of our accounts purely on the excuse that we own a house. They take a chunk of any inheritance so even death doesn’t stop them robbing us.
Then they got the idea of robbing us as a form of punishment. If we do something wrong we have to pay them. But now we have to pay them if they consider we are doing something wrong – the so called “sin tax”.
Fitzgerald is obviously a great fan of sin tax.
Mr Fitzgerald said carbon tax moves people from dirtier fuels to cleaner energy.
“The dirtier fuels pay more carbon tax,” he said.
So he wants to slam up the price of my heating oil and petrol? And how exactly is that supposed to “move” me? Am I supposed to abandon the home heating system that cost me thousands to install and is extremely efficient? What do I replace it with? An electric system that relies on the fucking wind? And I presume I am supposed to bring my relatively new and expensive car down to the scrapyard and then pay an exorbitant price for a car that won’t even bring me on a long journey?
He reiterated the need to cut overall cattle numbers by 500,000, adding that farmers could make as much money by switching from beef to trees.
Fucking brilliant! Kill half a million cattle and replace them with trees? I can just see the poor farmer sitting watching those saplings grow and dreaming of the money he is going to make in a few decades time. Or does Fitzgerald think we can somehow make milk from tree sap and steaks out of wood. Maybe he is confusing steaks with stakes?
Mr Fitzgerald said he supports a congestion charge in larger cities. A congestion charge levies a charge on private cars coming into the cities. He warned also that subsidies may not be the most effective way to encourage people to buy electric cars.
For “congestion charge” read “tax”. And God forbid the gubmint should give anything back to the peasants.
“If they charge us more to buy a fossil fuel car, ramping it up over the decade, that is more effective. Raising tax on fossil fuel cars is where I’d begin.”
Of course it is. More and more tax.
He added that there may be a need to limit data centres,
Good grief! A sensible suggestion at last. After all there will be fuck all electricity left after we have sucked the grid dry with our electric heaters and our electric cookers and our electric cars and our electric everything else.
Fucking twat.
I’m thinking this climate change thing will soon be replaced by some deep space object which will impact the earth in 32 years, 7 months, 18 days and 23 hours. (For what it may be worth, at my age (much like Rett Butler) “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”.)
After the last war there was the “Reds Under the Bed”, then the Cold War. Global Cooling followed and then a bit of calm until Global Warming came along. I may have left one or two things out bo you notice that there is a common thread here? An invisible enemy and threat of total destruction?
They worked out that having human ‘enemies’ like Hitler, Stalin, Saddam, Bin Laden etc. has an inherent sell-by-date, they eventually die and the fear-fuelled budget dies with them.
Having perpetual imaginary enemies is so much better, no-one can prove if they are real or unreal, turn it into a pseudo-religion so that doubters can be silenced, they can last interminably, along with those generous budgets by raising unnecessary taxes to spend on unnecessary fanciful nonsense, but with lots of lovely kick-backs from ‘friends’. What’s not to like?
You’ve read 1984 right!
It’s not me, the problem is that our rulers have read it and treat it like an operations manual.
plus Acid Rain, refrigerator and hair spray caused Vanishing Ozone Layer, Year2000 global computing failure causing everything to stop as the midnight hour swept round the time zones, banning DDT causing unimportant children in poor countries to die, Mad Cow(no, not Adhern) Disease which was going to kill nearly everybody, politicians starving because of ridiculously low expenses and pay.
(I made that last one up)
Butter, dripping and animal fat will kill you. Err. No. Sugar, salt and any grain will kill you, but still keep of the fat.
Drinking more than 13.75 units , whatever they are, of ethanol a week will kill you. Despite historical evidence to the contrary. Producing less CO2 in a year than any self respecting volcano can produce in a few hours will cause floods, droughts, unprecedented calm, hurricanes, and hair to fall out.
What next? Dosn’t matter. The solution is always the same. Give us yer feckin money and investigatory jollies to exotic places to get your, er, jollies.
But I must admit Glasgow puzzles me.
Maybe the local ladies have talents that a poor man cannot imagine. Or a tight Scot like me would never risk a few bawbees on finding out.
Apologies for attrocious grammar.