I have been doing a bit of pondering.

As far as I am aware, having a quiet ponder in the privacy of one’s home isn’t yet illegal so I make no apologies.

I have been wondering exactly who I am. Titles seem to be important in the modern world and we frequently see someone labelled as Chief Executive with Responsibility for Whatever or somesuch. Zappone being given the job of “UN Special Envoy on Freedom of Opinion and Expression” is a perfect example. So if I were to be interviewed on the television news, what would they stick up as my position in society?

Award Winning Blogger?

Yes. This is fundamentally true as I have won awards for scribbling here, but that was a very long time ago when the world was innocent. The chances of winning any awards now are less than zero. Anyway I would object as I don’t like the word “blogger”. [Even my smell choker doesn’t like the word and is suggesting “logger” or “flogger”. The latter is probably a better substitution?]

Author / Writer?

This is another that is technically true but is not something I would normally shout from the rooftops. Yes, I had a book published but frankly that’s a bit of history I’m reluctant to talk about. One time down in West Cork I was sitting on my own outside a coffee shop pondering the world at large when two women struck up a conversation [about the dog, I think]. One of them asked what I did and on the spur of the moment [I don’t know why] I said “writer”. “I knew it!” said she. “You have that look about you.” I didn’t know what to make of that.

Sad Old Fart?

This has an element of truth about it. After all, I started writing this some fifteen years ago and have never had the sense to quit. It’s a title [with some variations] that I have been accorded by several Trolls in the past so it has crossed other’s minds as well as my own.

Full Time Carer?

Yes. This is an official title agreed by the Powers That Be and I even get a payment for it, but it doesn’t define me. Granted I am “on call” at all times, but I have a lot of time to myself. I could claim “Part Time Carer” but then they probably wouldn’t pay me.

A Piece Of Detritus Washed Up On Life’s Shore?

Poetic, but depressing.

Old Age Pensioner?

Again, accurate and I get paid for that too, but it defines my age, not me.

Grandad?

Factually correct. It hardly defines me though and is more a comment on genealogy. Technically I’m a Grandad when the Grandkids are around but I’m not sure what I am the rest of the time.

Just an old bloke sitting up on the side of a mountain with too much time to ponder daft thoughts?

Yes. That’ll do.