That was quite a week.

We had a trainee canal pilot abysmally failing his driving test when he tried to do a three-point turn in the Suez Canal in the wrong place. As I always say – if you’re going to fail, do it spectacularly. He achieved that in spades.

Our Glorious Gubmint introduced their Mandatory Quarantine this week. People flying in from certain countries get an army escort to a hotel where they are forced to stay for a fortnight at a cost [to them] of nearly two grand. A holiday after a holiday? I tried booking myself in for the laugh and discovered their website caters for one or two adults and zero, one or two kids and that’s your lot. The first family to arrive had three kids which threw the system into inevitable chaos. Who could possibly have predicted that a family might have more than two kids?

In the meantime, three others did a runner from the hotel. The army and the police are now doing a full scale manhunt to try to recapture them. They caught two but the other one is “still at large”. Fair play to ’em I say. Who the fuck wants to stay for a fortnight locked in a room just big enough to hold a bed?

The three left the hotel on Saturday despite a heavy security presence involving a private security contractor and Defence Forces personnel.

So much for the “heavy security”? The army and a security firm?

Then there was the Scandal of the Week. A hospital had a few spare jabs over in the evening so the Head Honcho in the hospital phoned his pal, the headmaster of a posh and expensive school where his kids attended. Would the teachers like the spare jabs? Of course they would. The word got out and the shit hit the proverbial windmill. I confess I am surprised. That is to say I’m not at all surprised at the carry-on but at the sheer level of resulting venom on the airwaves. Do these idiots seriously not know that the Old Pals Network still thrives in this country?

The clocks went forward an hour last night.

So now I have to spend the rest of the day discovering how to reset my watch.