I had a brief glance around the papers this morning.

I have said before that we live in surreal times, but I am beginning to wonder if we have in fact transported into some alternative universe. In this new universe insanity is apparently the norm and I really shouldn’t be surprised at anything any more.

Take some of today’s headlines –

Modern Ireland is unimaginable without Jack Charlton

[Irish Times]

What the fuck does this mean? I can’t even begin to understand this weird statement. I didn’t read the article as I think I would probably lose any marbles I had left.

Data shows Oxford/AstraZeneca vaccine 70% effective against Covid-19

[RTE]

Actually this is a fairly normal headline in these crazy times. What amused me was the corresponding headline in the Irish Times –

Oxford Covid-19 vaccine can be 90% effective, results show

[Irish Times]

Do I get a choice when Doc calls? Can I demand the Irish Times vaccine or will he pawn me off with the cheap RTE version?

Then there is a non-story that has been filling the news for the last few days –

RTÉ bosses may be brought before Dáil committee over social distancing controversy

[The Journal]

A staff member in RTE was leaving and had a few photographs taken. Shock! Horror! As far as I am aware, no kittens were drowned or puppies beaten to death, or indeed a single case of the sniffles but this fucking story rolls on. And on. And on.

Tipperary and Cavan deliver two earthquakes in one day

[Irish Times]

Good grief! And I never felt a thing. Not a single quiver in the ground. I hope there wasn’t much damage or many injuries? But then I noticed it was something to do with sport. Heigh-ho. What a massive disappointment

Face masks don’t impede exercise … except for one type

[Irish Times]

One type of exercise? I assume they mean sweaty sex. Are we supposed to wear masks then?

And then I found a piece of real news –

A Belgian city’s unintentionally phallic Christmas lights

At last. Something sane.