The Trumpfest is nearly over.

For the last couple of days the news consisted almost entirely of breathless prose from Shannon, Doonbeg [where Trump has his hotel] and the occasional shot of Dublin. We were shown Air Force One and Marine One and we were expected to fall on our knees in adoration of these flying machines.

Personally I found the whole circus rather boring.

Having seen so much of Trump in the last couple of days I can’t help but wonder how many days months or years he has spent in front of a mirror practising his one and only facial expression – the eyes squinting into the distance and the mouth clenched grimly giving the appearance of someone desperately trying to hold in a massive fart. As for the hair! Surely he must realise? But apparently not.

Of course we had the locals in Doonbeg fawning all over him and his sons, which goes to prove that a Clare man will do anything for a free pint.

We also had the protests. They were an embarrassment to themselves with their placards and their blimp [for which they had to get permission to fly it from the Irish Aviation Authority even though it was surrounded by trees and lamp standards]. There really is fuck all protesting the other side of the land.

I have no interest in his policies simply because I don’t know what they are. He seems to blow with the wind. A highlight was his statement that Brexit will be very good for the UK and also very good for Ireland. I got the distinct impression he was merely saying what he thought the audience wanted to hear, even if it did mean tying himself in knots.

Anyway one way or another he is America’s problem. The good citizens there voted for him so that’s what they got. Democracy and all that shit. He’s their business not mine.

Unless of course he lost his game of golf in Doonbeg and will nuke Ireland in retaliation?

With Trump, anything is possible.