The Perfect Gift
Twice a year I have a mighty headache.
What do I buy for Herself for Christmas and Birthday.
Frankly she has everything she needs and the only thing she wants is more clothing. Seeing as she has two rooms full of clothing I put my foot down and made a rule – for every item of clothing she buys, she has to select two items to be dumped. So she stopped trying to buy clothes.
So what do I give her?
Well, the only practical thing that doesn’t require vast storage space is jewellery. But here I run into another problem. You see, she claims she has allergic skin so any item of jewellery has to be either pure gold or pure silver. If I buy anything less than around 95% purity she bitches that she’ll only come out in a rash if she wears it.
Now I could lash out hundreds on a necklace or a ring or whatever but fuckit – I’m not made of money.
This year I hit upon the perfect Christmas present for her. What’s more it will have far reaching consequences in the future and in my pocket.
I bought her a tube of Hydrocortisone.
The perfect gift for one with “allergic skin”–obviously. Beat her at her own game didn’t ya’?
The Wife and I don’t have that problem as neither one of us want presents during birthdays or Christmas. We want them all the time so why limit it to just twice a year…per person that is? So we came up with the GFN (Gifts For Nothing) idea and it’s been working well ever since. If one of us mentions or sees something they’d like to have (and we can afford it) the other buys it for them. If a GFN comes close to a birthday or Christmas we just say this is your [insert: birthday or Christmas here] present and all is fine and dandy. This eliminates the headaches.
Note: Her “Christmas” present this year was a .22 caliber semi-automatic target pistol. It’s a nice piece of machinery but I’m getting a bit concerned about her choice of targets.
You gave your wife a gun? Holy fuck! That must be the most foolhardy thing I ever heard. In case I don’t hear from you again, it has been great knowing you. I shall miss our little chats.
Oh, but that’s her second handgun. I bought her a 9mm a couple years back and she hasn’t shot me yet. Of course I have a 9mm blaster myself so that probably evens things out a bit?
I like the description of a cream as “topical.” Of course, it is correct, but it does prompt thoughts of it as a conversation starter.
Aren’t we constantly being told that we must have a “national conversation” about some topic or other, such as mental health or some form of disease? It might as well be about a cream as anything.
It could be handed to politicians to assist them in their speeches – they might say something interesting
May I suggest you learn to sleep with your eyes open!
Now I can’t even find the post to twitter button! Am I going crazy? I read every post you write, but you don’t know unless I write a comment…..but I have nothing to say except I liked it!
I shall take your reading on faith. I had Twitter, Farcebook and a load of other buttons but they slowed the site down dramatically. Maybe I’ll experiment with them again at some point….