Introducing foreplay
The Green Party want more ‘kiss and ride‘ zones around the country.
Now I don’t hold much truck with our Green Party, but there again, nor does the electorate seeing is they were virtually wiped out a few years ago. They currently have two women in the Dáil – Eamon Ryan and Catherine Martin, but that’s beside the point.
I am a little confused by this proposal. Kiss and ride? Now we already have a plethora of “park and ride” places and in fact we have a couple a little further up the valley that are very popular. You can spot them easily by the number of used condoms that litter the area. I imagine the young slags from Skobieville have lost their virginity up there dozens of times.
So now they want “kiss and ride”. Is this some kind of effort to introduce foreplay into the equation? Have the women been complaining that they don’t even get a chance to introduce themselves? Will it be compulsory to have a cuddle before each shag? Whatever happened to the good old days where foreplay simply consisted of “brace yourself Brigid“?
Frankly I’m a bit annoyed at the Greens for trying to interfere in our sex lives.
It’s none of their fucking business.
If you’ll pardon the expression?
Dog in a manger?
Dogging in a manger?
‘Interfering in our sex lives?
At your age!
Us old dudes are not limber enough to do it in a car.
Speak for yourself!
Well, I’d give you a ride but be sure I ain’t kissing you!
Hmm. I hope you mean to assist me in getting from A to B? The Irish meaning would get me as far as First Base [I think that’s the expression?]
A to B. Definitely A to B. Hell, I might even bring you back.