Snow joke
I am getting a little pissed off with this impending snow.
It’s all they can talk about on the papers or television. Is it going to be a blizzard? Is it going to be as bad as ’82? Panic!
Naturally all this hype has led to panic buying and the Twitter machine is going into overdrive showing bare shelves in supermarkets where they have run out of milk and bread. For fucks sake!
Unfortunately Herself has got herself into a bit of a state about the whole affair, as she tends to go by the radio rather than the evidence of her own eyes, or even the intellectual prowess of her Better Half.
“I’ll be nipping down to the village later” says I.
“Don’t be daft!” says she. “Don’t you know there are all sorts of weather warnings out there?”
“There’s blue sky with a few clouds” says I.
“It was snowing a few minutes ago.”
“Just a flurry and it’s all melted.”
“Well you’re not going out and that’s the end of it. We have no need for anything. We just had a grocery delivery so what on earth would you be going down to the village for?”
“You are running short of fags.”
“Wrap up well. It’s cold out there.”
*sigh*
I hope there’s a nasty flurry while you’re in the village which forces you to seek refuge in the pub.
Are you kidding? It was lovely down there – blue skies, little wind though it was fucking freezing, I grant. And I deliberately waited until Status Orange came into effect just to see the fun. Very disappointing.
“You are running short of fags.”
“Wrap up well. It’s cold out there.”
You do’t have her smokes delivered with the groceries? Enquiring minds need to know. Surely if you are going to pay those obscene nostril-bleed prices, they could at least save you the effort of going to the store for them?
They don’t stock the brand that Herself prefers [is there a difference?].
And anyway, who said I was buying at regular prices? 😉
It’s shocking, snow in February, who’d a thunk it? it’s never happened before except for every bloody year!
I blame Glowball Warbling.
Actually looks like you might get a bit more than previously forecast. Get what you need at the village now and just stay put for a few days is the best bet. Hope you have a pair of wellies at the ready?
Meh! Forecasters and the meeja are predicting Armageddon, but whether it’s half an inch or half a yard, the country is going to grind to a standstill anyway.
Am currently well stocked with all the essentials – baccy, fags [for Herself], whiskey, dog food, cat food, tea bags and milk. Did I leave anything out?
OH NOES! You forgot the Chocolate Digestives! You are doomed I tell ye, Dooooomed! Toilet roll might also be good…or just use the cat.
I have a grand stock of Chocolate Polo biscuits. My favourite!
I have looked out the window each morning this week to see sunshine, blue skies and green fields and have then checked the weather on my smartphone in case there really is drifting snow and I haven’t been able to see it.