The end not justifying the means — 12 Comments

  1. They say smoking leaves one short of breath but I find what takes my breath away,  on those very rare occasions I am forced to buy a pack of smokes or baccy here, are the sums of money the 12 year old behind the till asks me for .

    Last time the 11 year old (they seem to get younger every time) wanted £20+ for a pouch of Drum…I almost had one of my turns so it’s true what they say that smoking is bad for you, I guess.

    Luckily I am off to the con-ti-nont this next week to contribute to the Belgian Health Care System, whom I fund in preference to the NHS. 3 kilos of tobacco should see me through until…Xmas.


    • “3 kilos of tobacco should see me through until…Xmas.”  Bastard!  Why don’t you rub it in?  Why the fuck do we have to be stuck out in the Atlantic so far from civilisation?

      Incidentally, I reckon 3 kilos would cost around €1,440 here.  Just sayin’…..

      • Last time I was there I did look if they stocked your favoured ‘Guanor’ but unfortunately they didn’t and now they have changed the laws so one can’t post tobacco as a ‘small occasional gift’ to one’s nearest and dearest in the EU (otherwise i would have sent Nis a tub of that Organic, vegan, fairtrade shredded by native American virgins at midnight stuff  he prefers, which they do stock, too).

        I reckon 3 kilos would cost around €1,440 here.

        But that said that nice fellow countryman of yours, Michael ‘give us your fuckin’ money’ O Leering is offering round trip Dublin 2 Brussels , fly out today, back Monday for 31 of your shiney euros….the grandkids could, I’m sure, use some experience of Continental culture …you could ‘do’ Brugge with them, immerse the little tykes in Medieval Art or the nearest canal…. even staying in a proper Hotel with real sheets, clean ones even, and ‘on-sweets’ you’d be quids in. And unlike Ireland or Norfolk there IS a slight chance it won’t rain the entire time…I’m told.

        • It’s a little known fact, BD, that when tobacco is shredded by native American virgins at midnight, it takes on enhanced properties, and the whole becomes greater than the sum of its parts. This phenomenon is apparently greatly increased if said virgins are naked at the time of shredding, due to the sweat from their inner thighs infusing the leaf. Whether or not Pueblo insist on their virgins being naked at the time of shredding I don’t know, but it’s pretty damn good tobacco anyway.

          Interestingly, and counter-intuitively, American Spirit (organic, additive-free) rolling tobacco, which is available here, is cheaper than Golden Virginia, at €7 per 40g pack as opposed to GV at €7.50. Unfortunately, I don’t much care for American Spirit – dry, harsh and not very nice to smoke, organicality (I just invented that word) notwithstanding. So GV it is, at a 50 cent premium.

  2. What makes me slightly out of breath is the assumption of the World Bank it had any right at all to educate and nanny people and use its influence to make more gubmints do the same. And how very much they’re fluent in Tobacco Control Speak.

  3. This looks like a prime time to bring back a time honored profession that uses boats, small planes, passwords like “pssst. Liam sent me”. All to the great consternation of the offending governments.

  4. Out in Kampot, Cambodia, where I holidayed recently, local tobacco – decent stuff, similar to Golden Virginia other then being even more finely shredded – is available in unbranded plastic zip-lock bags at US$3 for 100 grammes or $20 per kilo. The many expats buy it to supplement other locally grown leaves.

    I’m looking forward to going back: $50-worth will see me sorted for six months.

    Mr Dwarf, it’s a warm, bright, sunny day here in Norfolk.

  5. “Mr Dwarf, it’s a warm, bright, sunny day here in Norfolk.”

    I meant the real Norfolk not the fake one in the US or ‘plastic Norfolk’ south of Norwich.

  6. I must defend the virgins! American Spirit is much improved if you simply place a piece of apple along with the virgins in your baccy tin. Dry, it should never be – harsh? yes – it’s real tobacco. Gives a damn good hit and I smoked less because it satisfied me. My lungs were much better on it, though when I switched, I coughed for a while. You have to persevere as lungs clear.

    • Hold on, you’re not seriously suggesting putting bits of apple- the fruit ones that grow on trees- into a tobacco tin full of tobacco…even a ‘tobacco’ like Virgins?!?! Really!?!

      No way Lady! Everyone KNOWS that ‘fruit breeds fever’ because vitamins are water soluble and will leech out and contaminate the entire tobacco!

      My Tranny-inna-Transit friend went on at me for ages to try Virgins because it is, supposedly, free of Strontopolloverium 12345 or whatever radioactive stuff she said (apparently caused by organo-phosphate fertilizers?). I found it overpriced, over sexed and over here…and HARSH. And that was excusing the fact it was a Virginia -which I dislike at the best of times. Nis however likes them so if he has it was a harsh mistress then it could probably star in it’s own BDSM flick….

    • I used to use a bit of apple peel in my pueblo for a couple of days before I smoked it – the American and German rolling tobaccos are always too dry for my taste. However, apple peel and vagrant vitamins notwithstanding, I still don’t like the American Spirit very much. The Pueblo I smoked was a blend of Burley and Java tobaccos, and it really hit the spot for me. But it still needed moistening a bit before it was smokeable.

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