They have been painting the village again.
I don’t mean that all the front doors are now shiny and bright with a spot of fresh colour on the window frames either. No – some twat has been dispatched by the council with a pot of yellow and a pot of white paint to turn the roads into a garish mess.
This twat has gone fucking mad this time. There are white lines and messages everywhere and as for the yellow lines – either he was having a laugh or was given too much paint. Either way he has reduced the amount of [legal] parking spaces considerably by painting double yellow lines everywhere, even places where there had never been lines before.
To those of a foreign persuasion, there are two schools of thought here as to the meaning of yellow lines painted along the edge of the road.
One school maintains that a single yellow line means you can’t park there at all, while double yellow lines mean you can’t park there at all at all.
The other school [of which most of us are devout pupils] maintains that a single line means you can park and a double yellow means you can double park. It makes more sense in my book.
Anyhows this gink has plastered double yellow lines everywhere. They run up the side of a road where no one can park anyway [unless you want the side of your car ripped off by a lorry]. They are plastered along stretches where there is no reason for them whatsoever and where people have been parking for years without any problems.
Of course I am supposed to obey these bits of paint, which is a complete anathema [why the fuck should I be ordered around by paint for fucks sake?] but only for a couple of weeks. This is because the council will doubtless dispatch some jobsworth to make sure we are obeying the rules. Jobsworth [and the council] usually get bored of this game after a couple of weeks and we will all revert to parking where the hell we like. It’s our village after all.
I had to drive down to the village yesterday to collect something. I parked in my usual spot where the two old yellow lines had been replaced with two new yellow lines. Jobsworth obviously wasn’t around [or was issuing tickets up the other end of the village]. I came back to find that a car had double parked beside me which was in accordance with my beliefs. It didn’t bother me as I could easily get out which I did leaving the other car parked in the middle of the road.
Paint or no paint, life carries on as normal.