What does Guinness taste like

I get quite a few visitors via search engines.

Some, I am delighted to say find the opposite of what they are expecting.  I got quite a few looking for topless photographs of Kate Middleton, and of course I obliged.  I also get a lot looking for "Naked photos of Granny" and I am happy to say they'll find them too.  In the early stages of the site, I ranked at the very top of the pile for "senior citizen porn", though that seems to have died away a bit [as most seniors do, eventually].

One of the biggest searches though over the years is "What does Guinness taste like".  What the fuck are they looking for?  A free sample?  I don't do free samples.

How do you describe what somethig tastes like?  It's like trying to explain colour to someone who was born blind.  Guinness tastes like…. well…. Guinness.  It doesn't taste like water, oranges or curry.  It bears no resemblance to Crème de Menthe, nor does it taste like porridge or Marmite.  It certainly tastes nothing like the horse's piss they call beer in America.  It's just Guinness.

Talking of horses, I got a strange search request yesterday – "tailpipe horse trick".  What the fuck?  The mind boggles? What kind of trick would involve a horse's tailpipe?  Why couldn't they just come out with it and tell us exactly what they want?  I mean "head in the pussy porn" is straightforward [that also arrived yesterday] but tricks involving horses' nether regions?  That is nothing short of weird.

Unless of course they meant to say "tailpipe hose trick"?  Keyboard Dyslexia strikes again?

I get quite a few queries about suicide which I find odd, and not a little sad.

I hope I'm not the cause?

 

 

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Comments

What does Guinness taste like — 9 Comments

  1. The world is a many splendoured thing, GD. It does rather boggle the mind what some other people want to find out about, and it looks as if you get a better insight than most of us.

    O/T, it would appear that my username and email have disappeared from the boxes below again. I'll be interested to see if I get to see my comment after I've posted, because for the past couple of months the boxes have been pre-filled-in, but when I post, unless I refresh the page my comment doesn't appear. Prior to that, when I had to fill in the boxes before posting, I was taken to my posted comment. And before that, the boxes were filled in and I got taken to the comment I'd just posted.

    Anyway, keep on tweaking the site until it meets with your satisfaction. I can live with the quirks.

    • Some of the search strings I get are really weird, and I wonder how the hell they arrive here [when I try the same search this site is never listed].  Sadly I get a load looking for information on suicide, though Im glad to say that seems to be over its peak.

    • This is really strange.  What is even stranger is that when this site went tits-up last week you were the only one etting a decent connection.  Now the site is running [to my satisfaction] you seem to be the only one having problems.  I did get a mail from a regular this morning to say he had been banned [!?] and am following that up.  It wasn't my favourite Troll by the way.

      The problem seems to lie with CloudFlare [CDN] as your problem seems to kick in when I switch to their service.  Very very strange.

  2. I hasten to add that this isn't a criticism – I'm telling you because I think you want to know what's going on at the other end. I'm merely giving you feedback.

      • According to fans of the British royal family, she's the most beautiful woman in the world.  Personally I think she's quite ordinary.  I woudn't chuck her out of bed for eating biscuits, but I wouldn't cross the street for her either.

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