I get quite a few visitors via search engines.
Some, I am delighted to say find the opposite of what they are expecting. I got quite a few looking for topless photographs of Kate Middleton, and of course I obliged. I also get a lot looking for "Naked photos of Granny" and I am happy to say they'll find them too. In the early stages of the site, I ranked at the very top of the pile for "senior citizen porn", though that seems to have died away a bit [as most seniors do, eventually].
One of the biggest searches though over the years is "What does Guinness taste like". What the fuck are they looking for? A free sample? I don't do free samples.
How do you describe what somethig tastes like? It's like trying to explain colour to someone who was born blind. Guinness tastes like…. well…. Guinness. It doesn't taste like water, oranges or curry. It bears no resemblance to Crème de Menthe, nor does it taste like porridge or Marmite. It certainly tastes nothing like the horse's piss they call beer in America. It's just Guinness.
Talking of horses, I got a strange search request yesterday – "tailpipe horse trick". What the fuck? The mind boggles? What kind of trick would involve a horse's tailpipe? Why couldn't they just come out with it and tell us exactly what they want? I mean "head in the pussy porn" is straightforward [that also arrived yesterday] but tricks involving horses' nether regions? That is nothing short of weird.
Unless of course they meant to say "tailpipe hose trick"? Keyboard Dyslexia strikes again?
I get quite a few queries about suicide which I find odd, and not a little sad.
I hope I'm not the cause?