I confess I am not really a computer games enthusiast.
There are nearly 2,000 free games in the Linux repositories just waiting to be played, from simple card games up to full blown flight simulators and everything in between, but I just couldn't be bothered with them.
I could never understand the joy of sitting in front of a screen all day, looking down the barrel of a gun and shooting anything that moves, yet there are tens of thousands who seem to devote their lives to it. It's much more fun to head up the valleys and take pot shots at tourists, where the air is fresh, the heather is soft and the screams from the tourists are far more authentic.
As for the mobile phone – I once downloaded Angry Birds which was worth a chuckle for an hour but then I wiped it again. It takes a hell of a lot of effort just to dial a number on my mobile so gaming just isn't on.
But now everyone is talking about Pokemon Go.
I have seen quite a few mentions of it in various places but from what I can gather it really sounds like one of the best games ever invented.
Apparently the game consists of using your mobile phone to walk around actual streets to find little imaginary things lurking in corners. Can you not see the incredible genius behind this concept? Walking around while concentrating hard on your mobile screen? Traffic? Edges of cliffs? Steep drops? Lakes? The mind boggles at the ingenuity of the inventors – it is the ultimate Nerd Culling Device!
I thought I had better do a little research before writing this and found a video that talks about the game. It was a glimpse into another universe where the language is vaguely familiar but the expressions used were totally alien. This universe is apparently populated with a species whose life consists of running around poking at little images on a lump of plastic and metal and getting some sort of religious thrill from it all.
Then it struck me. These people are the future of humanity; the future leaders of industry; the potential politicians and lawmakers. Even worse, they will presumably mate with others of their kind and spawn future generations of mindless idiots.
This is where the sheer genius of the software writers comes in. How do you cull a section of the population who are visually similar but mentally way out there with the morons? Why, you write a piece of software that encourages them to walk off bridges or under a bus. Perfection!
I thought I would include the video I found but I must warn you – it is a scary place, as it gives a glimpse into the incredibly weird mind of modern yoof. I confess I couldn't watch it all myself as I began to get a headache and there was drool coming out the corner of my mouth after a minute or two.
I give you Pokemon Go. The ultimate and brilliant Culling Machine.
It really sould be called Darwin Go.