A letter to the editor
I am not in the habit of writing to papers.
I have possibly written two, or maybe even three letters in my entire life.
Yesterday however I read an article which to put it very mildly boiled my piss to the point of incandescence.
Chris Snowdon has already written about the level of utter cuntishness in the article so there is no need for me to elaborate. However, for the first time in many years I whacked off a letter to the paper. They didn't print it, but then I didn't think they would. The meeja are after all complicit in this snide slow torture of those of us who just want to be left alone.
Sir, – I see William Reville would like to impose yet another tax on smokers ("Could smoking licence sound the death knell of tobacco?", April 17th).
I have been a (pipe) smoker for the last fifty or so years. It is a simple pleasure and one for which I am taxed heavily, banned from enjoying indoors and for which I am supposed to be "denormalised". I punch considerably above my weight when it comes to paying taxes, yet have never had recourse to our Health Service, despite the fallacious arguments that are bandied about.
Could the good Professor please tell me why I, as a mature, well informed individual who is quite capable of making my own decisions along with many other like minded people, be "licenced" as if I were some kind of criminal?
Yours etc
In retrospect I probably would have put things differently, but at the time I was typing through a red haze of sheer hatred for the Nanny State, all their fucking narrow minded followers and the blind arrogance of that loathsome little cunt Reville.
"Could the good Professor please tell me why .."
For the sake of the CheeEEEEelddrEEen , of course! Have you not being paying attention?
I don't give a flying fuck about the chiiildren. What I want is for him to justify why I should have a licence.
Most of the time these fucking idiots are just making shit up for the sheer hell of it. This is just another batshit crazy idea that will hopefully get treated with the contempt that it deserves.
Welcome Tony! What worries me about these ideas is that they have a nasty habit of becoming something more substantial. After all, who ten years ago could have guessed the power these fuckers have now gained? Slippery slope and all that.
It is a short, sharp and polite [you call him 'the good prof'] letter. By refusing to print it The Editor has made you a non-person. Now write a short sharp polite letter to The Editor and ask him if there are any pipe smokers in his family tree. Would he have treated them as non-persons too?
Heh! In fairness they must get dozens if not hundreds of submissions per day. Having said that they rarely if ever print something that may be perceived to be "pro smoking".
I see someone forwarded my little piece to the Irish Times Twitter account though! [thanks, @Noel_Random!]
Rejoice, you're gathering support somewhere in the belly of the beast. I've tried to find an appropriate quotation from Confucius, but only came upon a fake saying, which I find appropriately inappropriate. Here it is:
Confucius say:- If you girlfriend starts smoking, slow down and use auspicious lubricant.