It has been a long time since I looked at a pack of tobacco.
I buy them all the time but I never actually look at them. Usually I empty them into my leather tobacco pouch but other times I'm just lazy and use the pack.
The pack I am using at the moment is one of the lazy ones and so it's sitting there beside me in all its technicolour glory when I realised that I haven't actually looked at one in a long time. Just out of interest, I had a look to see if they had changed the medi-porn so beloved of the Anti-Smokers. They haven't.
I hoped it would be my favourite – the hypodermic [or the hypodemic nerdle, as Herself calls 'em] but it wasn't. Incidentally, that hypodermic confuses me a little – how the fuck is tobacco going to squeeze through that needle? You'd have to shred it to an incredibly fine powder? I must try it sometime though. It looks promising.
Anyhows today I have been blessed with the bloke mowing the lawn.
At least I think he's mowing the lawn? Maybe when they increase the size of the pictures, I'll be able to tell? And what precisely is the message? Are they telling me that mowing the lawn can lead to a heart attack? It doesn't really apply to me as I have the sense to use a motorised one. I suppose there is a remote possibility that the exhaust fumes might affect my lungs but I doubt it. I never use the mower indoors anyway because it wouldn't fit in through the door.
So they go to all this trouble, putting weird pictures on my baccy and putting nonsensical messages on the other side [todays is "Smoking kills" which is a load a bollox – if they said that "Smoking may cause health problems but we're not quite sure" I would tend to believe them] and after all this trouble I never even look at the damn things.
Somehow I am supposed to examine these little messages and somehow that is supposed to strike home some kind of guilt or nausea or something. But they don't because why on earth would I bother reading them? When I want a smoke I'll buy baccy, and if I want to read I'll buy a book.
I don't know what the state of play is in our gubmint's quest for plain packaging. I don't know whether it's still on or whether they have forgotten about it. We don't actually have a gubmint at the moment so it's hard to tell.
But doubtless, if they do introduce that packaging I will continue to ignore it.
Why change the habit of a lifetime?