Dog and cat owners who use e-cigarettes are being warned to keep them as far away as possible from their pets.

Er, why?

The warning comes after the Pet Poison Hotline announced there has been a 400-percent jump in the last two years, in pets being poisoned by e-cigarettes.

Maybe nobody showed those pets how to use an e-cigarette?  And anyway, 400%?  One pet poisoned two years ago and four this year?  That's a 400% increase!  Let's hear some startling stories about these heart rending instances.

“This dog got into something she shouldn’t have, she ate mushrooms and almost died.”

Jane is talking about her little puppy, Gracie.

Was this an electronic mushroom?  Did it have a faulty battery?

Gracie had her second close encounter with death after she accidentally ingested a prescription pill — luckily she recovered.

Ah!  I see the logic now,  A dog ate a mushroom and then a prescription pill thereby proving electronic cigarettes are lethal?  I'm sure there is some incredible logic here, but I'm damned if I can see it.  Maybe it's because I'm not from California? 

So who is this scientist making these startling revelations?  She's a vet.  OK, so she would see more animals than the rest of us.  Fair enough.

She says cats and dogs are getting poisoned by ingesting the e-cigarette liquid, and by inhaling the vapor.

Well, yes.  E-liquid is pretty dangerous stuff, but I can't see it being part of a cat or dog's regular diet and people should be more careful what they feed their pets.  Vapour?  Fuck off.  That is stretching credibility way beyond breaking point.

Dr. Rubin says it’s not just e-cigarettes that pet owners need to watch out for, but also traditional tobacco products.

“Anytime there’s smoke in the air, animals become more susceptible because their lungs are a lot smaller.”

Their noses are also many magnitudes more sensitive that ours and if they don't like the smell they'll fuck off somewhere else.  Anyway it's probably all those scented candles that's killing them off?

In fact, Dr. Rubin says 25-percent of the cats and dogs she sees suffer from some type of smoke-related illness.

Once again, go fuck off.  Smoke related illness?  Where have I heard that before?  So a quarter of all animals she sees have a "smoke related illness" yet less that a quarter of the population of California smokes, so these animals must be sneaking out at night for a surreptitious puff?  And smoking is on the decline, so why the sudden 400% increase in problems?

She adds that she’s treating more pets that usual for lung cancer, and when she tells pet owners their animals are developing certain conditions because of the owners’ smoking habits, they are shocked.

Of course they're shocked.  They believe every little bit of drivel they hear.  They are the ultimate OMG generation.  If it's on Twitter then it must be true, and if they hear it from another person then it is cast in Titanium.

What astounds me most of all is why any meeja, no matter how desperate they are for news would print this rubbish? 

Let's write the real shit.

Some cats and dogs have been ill after ingesting e-liguid.  This is powerful stuff so keep it away from pets. 

That nicely sums up the entire non-story?