No Nominating Lifestyle Day
According to Twitter, today is No Smoking Day?
It is in the UK but I'm not sure about Ireland. Actually I am [I just looked it up] – we apparently had ours on February the 10th but I missed it, so I am celebrating it today in support of all my friends across the water.
So what am I going to do to celebrate this momentous occasion? Frankly I'm not sure. I'll just light the pipe and ponder over that little conundrum.
OK. I have decided.
Nothing.
And why would I do nothing to celebrate this great occasion you ask? I am ignoring it in solidarity with all those who don't have their own special day.
For some reason, they like to pick on smoking as if there was something bad about it. Why don't they have a No Farting Day? Why not a No Sport Day? I'm sure there are many around the world who would happily embrace a No Nannying Day? Three cheers for No Flying Day, No Looking Through Windows Day and No Work Day!
When you have a No Whatever Day, doesn't that imply that the other 364 [or 365 this year] days are Go And Do Whatever Days? So whoever dreamed up this brilliant idea of a No Smoking Day must condone every other day being a Smoking Day, otherwise they'd declare every day a No Smoking Day?
Seeing as they actually have declared every other day as No Smoking Day I can only assume that they are running short of funds and have applied for another few hundred grand in order to promote this Day of Days?
When you really think about it, none of it makes any sense.
But then sense seems to be a rare commodity these days
Where I work our Elfin Safety staff are usually besieged by posters and stickers and leaflets and goodness knows what else in the run-up to the Big Day, and usually end up rather grudgingly putting one solitary poster up on the staff noticeboard and chucking the rest away, because no-one’s interested in any of it and it just hangs around getting tattier and tattier until one of the cleaners eventually removes it. But this year there’s been nothing. Absolutely nothing. So much so that I didn’t even realise it was the Big Day until now. Mmm. I wonder if perhaps the Big Day is running short of funds (hooray!) and has had to cut back on the massive amount of waste paper it produces.
Anyway. Too late now. Guess I’ll now just have to wait until next year to make the specific point of totally ignoring the Big Day, as I have for the last several years. Aww, shame!
I would love to know just how much these "Days" cost the taxpayer. Even more, I would love to know what they hope to achieve. Do they have this surreal idea that a dedicated smoker is going to quit the fags for one day and suddenly see the light? Did anyone actually give up for one day? Basically it's just a money grabbing and feelgood exercise by the Zealots so they can justify their existence.
I must make a note in the diary though for next year so that I can ignore it properly.
Can I suggest a "No Nagging Day?"
How about a No Zealot Day? They all have to die in the morning, but they can come back to life the next day if they wish?
How about a No alarm clock day? Especially a Monday.
Why not go the whole hog? No Monday Year?