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In the land of Hypochondria — 6 Comments

  1. I gave up smoking at the new year  The £4.75 per day which I would have wasted is now invested in a bottle of Shiraz and a potnoodle. So Big Tobacco is in effect buying my breakfast and supper. This makes more sense than buying some gadget that tells me I'm unfit since I can see it for myself. The only persons who really needed to care about fitness were galley slaves with a "keep rowing or get thrown overboard" contract. For everyone else, as long as you can lift 30kg and  run up two flights of stairs, it's fine not to obsess with racial health brainwashing techniques designed to shift gadgetry by selling you a part-share in your own unclothed reflection.

    • The only reason I would quit smoking is as a last ditch attempt to save the finances, but seeing as the gubmint is paying for them [they don't know that!] I'm quite happy to continue.  I like my sugar and salt and tonight I plan on doing a nice fry-up.  I have a car to avoid any exercise.  I am now nearer 70 than 60 and have every intention in carrying on as I am without breaking into a sweat.  Life is good and I don't need any fucking technology to tell me that!

  2. Creating anxiety about health and healthy diets is a bestselling strategy of snake oil peddlers, fitness experts and nutrition mercenaries, especially the ones who write articles for magazines and newspapers. I knew a retired old soldier who once a week asked the barman in the local to break a raw egg into a pint bottle and pour him a nice cream pint. He lived to 80 and was given a military funeral. I'm just giving visitors to this website a simple diet guaranteed to keep them healthy – absolutely free, no catch. Just don't get run over by a double-decker bus. 

    • As Doc says – never quit something if it makes you happy, as being contented adds years whereas being discontented wil knock years off.  He should know – he's a vet doctor!

  3. Grandad,

    There's  a new app coming for your smartphone, Am I Dead Yet. Press the button and it presents you with one of two messages – No, you're not – or – Yes, you are.

    The release date has been delayed as the programmers are re-writing the code as they realized they could save space on your phone by doing away with the 'Yes, you are' message.

    • Wow!  I see you have been giving this some thought

      Maybe I should start thinking about a similar version here?  Our gubmint loves spending money on technology, such as the brilliant electronic voting machines [running Windows 95, I think] that not only cost God knows how many millions but then cost us more millions every year storing the damned things because a) they didn't work, and b) they couldn't find anyone foolish enough to buy them.

      They would just love "Am I Dead Yet".

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