My kingdom for a beard
I watched the third [and last] "leaders debates" last night.
It was the usual headache inducing cacophony of accusations, interruptions and blaming everyone else for the mess we're in.
I had the germs of a change of mind though. Having decided that under no circumstances would I ever buy a used car off any of them even if it came with a gold plated certificate, and that goes for any of their party representatives also, I thought to myself that maybe I should vote.
The problem is that the outcome is a foregone conclusion. No one is going to win, so immediately every single promise they have made will be on the table as they scrabble for power when they form a coalition. Frankly I couldn't give a flying shite who wins because they are all the same. I have gone from extreme disillusionment into pure apathy. They don't care about me or my opinions so why should I give a single fuck for them? I hold them all equally in contempt.
I have to go to the village on Friday anyway, so I may vote. This is just a tentative may and not an absolute will, as a lot depends on the weather. If it's raining, I won't bother my arse.
So who will I vote for? Well, my number one will definitely go to Charlie Keddy. He is a complete no-hoper but I like his beard. Next I might go for Bob Kearns. I have never heard of him either, nor have I ever heard of Katrina Hutchinson so it's a toss up which will get my two or three. I think I might stop there. There is a danger that my votes might accidentally spill over into one of the nastier specimens and horror of horrors, actually get one of them elected.
Of course a lot of people here might use the same tactic. As a protest they will vote for the no-hopers. Now that would be priceless – 158 independents who thought they hadn't a chance and all milling around in the Dáil wondering what the fuck they should do next.
This election could be interesting after all.
Damn! Now I want to vote for Charlie Keddy too.
I think in the USA there is space on ballot papers sometimes for 'write-in candidates', in fact, I think a voter can write himself onto the ballot paper. So next time you go to a polling station think of Charlie Keddy's beard. You could download Charlie's mugshot and manifesto and email to all your friends. The CIA might even add him to their files at Langley.
There is an inherent danger in voting for independents though – Read this and weep.
I might add my own name to the ballot paper. Though on second thoughts that would involve traveling to Dublin when I win.
Right off the bat ol' Fergal refers to himself as Feral O'Connell. This has got to be sarcastic. Noone is that illiterate and running for office.
His first job when he is elected should be to employ a proof reader.
He'll probably end up as Minister for Education.
Ever hear of presidential candidate George 'Dubya' Bush? Exact vocabulary wasn't his strong point.
Oh don't worry, we're keeping an eye on this Keddy fellow.
He might reciprocate fellas.
Pray for rain courtesy of storm whatever the next one's called. That'll keep ya safe at home pipe in hand slippers on feet, herself supplying beverages and snacks on a regular basis penny snoozing gently in front of the warming fire till its time for tea and wonderful repast. O get yerself so pissed the night before herself hides the car keys.
May the force be with you.