Yet another insult to the intelligence

Are you aware that this is Carbon Monoxide Awareness Week?

Well, if you weren't aware, you certainly are aware now.

For one glorious week you can completely forget about Prostate Cancer, Children in Africa, Polar Bears and all the other shit that has its own Awareness Week, and concentrate entirely on Carbon Monoxide.

Now I know a bit about Carbon Monoxide because I went to school once.  I'm sure everyone has been to school at one stage so we should all know that Carbon Monoxide is a colourless, odourless, tasteless gas [very like our Dame Enda in fact] and really we shouldn’t need reminding.  It also happens to be very dangerous [again, just like Dame Enda].  And herein lies the problem.  Because it is colourless, odourless and tasteless you cannot see it, taste it or smell it so therefore you cannot be aware of it.

So their entire campaign is a bit daft.  They are imploring us to be aware of something that by definition we can't be aware of.  It's a bit like warning us of unforeseen events.

It came to my attention when I noticed a revolting character on the [muted] television screen.  It appeared to be some kind of cartoon chicken with an extremely bad case of Mumps, or Gout.  For some strange reason it reminded me of Cyril Smith.

Cyril Smith

Anyhows this chicken proceeded to sing at me [I presume, as the sound was muted] in a manner that frankly made my stomach churn.  I did a little research and thus discovered to my dismay that I had already missed several hours of the Awareness Week.

I can only assume that the revolting apparition is supposed to be a miners' canary though they don't make that plain.  And as I have said before, I am a fucking adult and the whole idea of trying to impress me with a kid's cartoon caricature is more than a little insulting to my intelligence.

So there you have it.  More money wasted trying to make me aware of something I can't detect anyway.

I found this on the Interweb, and as with most films these days I have to insert the compulsory warning –

We would like to warn you that this film contains content which some viewers may find nauseating and will, in any case find completely incomprehensible.

Buy now on Google Play?

Good fucking luck!

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Comments

Yet another insult to the intelligence — 20 Comments

  1. Ah, but let us not forget the first rule of toxicology – 'The dose makes the poison'.

    One of the 'toxic chemicals' in cigarettes quoted ad nauseam by the anti-smoker rabble is cabon monoxide. But wait! It would seem that in small doses, CO is actually very beneficial! Who'd a thunk?

    Doctors have long known that smokers rarely suffer from a common form of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) called ulcerative colitis, but they didn't know why…

    Scott Plevy and his colleagues at the University of Pittsburgh now show that carbon monoxide (CO), a component of cigarette smoke, helps shut down the intestinal inflammation that causes ulcerative colitis.

    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/01/060103084934.htm

    So there you have it – there is actually good reason to celebrate carbon monoxide awareness week! We should shout it from the rooftops!

    It sure beats 'Left-handed Black Muslim Transgender With-a-Disability-and-Bipolar Awareness Week'.

      • I have a problem with pigeons, if we're on that subject (I know we're not, but it's a good opportunity to vent my spleen a touch). I recently bought a property in Patras, a house split into two apartments, the ground floor one which I intend to do up to sell, and the top one to probably keep. Great property which I bought for peanuts. Great neighbourhood, lovely neighbours, quiet but an easy stroll to restaurants and bars, close to the centre of the city, 15 minutes drive from a lovely beach / bar / restaurant area; in fact it's got everything going for it.

        Apart from the pigeons.

        The lovely old dear who lives opposite has a one floor house with a flat roof, on which she feeds the pigeons (WTF? They're vermin!). Consequently, there are fucking hundreds of them who sit on my roof (great vantage point) waiting for breakfast. And shitting all over my balcony. And shedding feathers. Which blow in through the windows. You wouldn't believe how much guano they produce. It's a daily job to clean all the shit off the balcony.

        So I'm currently waiting for a delivery from UK of two hundred quid's worth of pigeon spikes, which next time I'm in Patras will adorn the tiles at the front of my house there. Hopefully to put an end to the in-house (on-house?) guano production line.

        So I understand your antipathy towards the yellow pigeon. I feel your pain, as someone once said.

        • Hmmmm….  So you have a property for sale that you got for peanuts [and will therefore naturally accept peanuts for it]?

          How would you fancy a quiet couple living downstairs [we don't fight that often these days – haven't the energy]?  We have a dog which will keep the pigeons at bay.  I'll even let you buy me the odd pint after the easy stroll to the bars.  Sounds to me like everyone wins?

  2. Yup, my intelligence–such as it is–has been duly insulted. And I don't know about you but I haven't seen anyone suck on a vehicle's tailpipe in ages. Or on a chimney for that matter.

    • Didn't catalytic converters do away with carbon monoxide in exhausts?  

      The only time I hear of CO deaths [which is very rarely] it's usually down to badly maintained gas heaters.  I don't have gas [apart from the natural stuff but that's my age] and wouldn't have it in the house.

  3. Tom Lehrer's 60s ditty about Pollution in New York is better than any cartoon ad. Here's an extract from the lyrics:

    Just go out for a breath of air
    And you'll be ready for Medicare.
    The city streets are really quite a thrill –
    If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will.

    If you want to see him sing, while playing the plonkedy-plonk piano try this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mvYec6AnCU

      • I just googled and found the lyrics – beautifully non-pc. Here's a nugget:

        All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon/ When we're poisoning pigeons in the park/ Every Sunday you'll see my sweetheart and me/ As we poison the pigeons in the park /  When they see us coming, the birdies all try and hide/ But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide.

        The full lyrics, with helpful chords, are here: http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/poisonin.htm

        In Hong Kong you can see many notices placed by the city council stating that it is illegal to feed pigeons. Not even an atomic particle of cyanide on a peanut.

         

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