It was the headline that caught my attention.

Engineer outlines dangers of throwing items at lingerie parties

What the fuck?

An engineer has told the High Court a “proper risk assessment” should be carried out in advance of throwing items in the air at Ann Summers lingerie parties where alcohol is being served.

What in the name of all that's holy was an engineer doing at that court case?  A solicitor and a barrister or two I could understand, or even a judge.  But who else did they have lined up to give evidence?  A geologist?  An anthropologist?  An airline pilot?  A nuclear physicist?

And what's this about "risk assessments"?  Do I have to employ a bunch of "experts" any time I invite a few people around to my gaff so they can carry out a "risk assessment"?  What the fuck happened to fun and spontaneity?

He was not saying such parties should be banned, Barry Tennyson said.

Oh come on, man.  Get with the times.  If there is the slightest whiff of a hint of danger of course they should be banned.

I blame Ms Deehan [(46), Maple Avenue, Ballybrack, Dublin] for this little bit of nonsense.  It's herself and her ilk that has the world so fucking risk averse, with her petty claim and the hope of a few quick bob. 

Ms Deehan was being “rowdy” and was asked “to keep it down,” Mr Watters said. She had used “colourful language” towards him after he spoke to her, he said.

She was a bit pissed.  She got carried away.  She had a wee fall.  Happens to the best of us [more times than I can remember].  Get the fuck over it.

At least the world now knows what Ms Deehan gets up to when she claims she's at the library.

*snigger*