A caring society
Interesting?
In the last seven days, I missed two. Two whole days where nothing appeared on this site.
That hasn’t happened for years.
Now, in the last week, somewhere over 1,400 people have dropped in for a read.
How many of those people were concerned that I missed my daily scribbles?
Two.
Two people were concerned enough to put pen to paper finger to keyboard to enquire as to my wellbeing. What about the rest of you 1,398? I could have been lying dead in a ditch for all you care. I could have been incarcerated at our courts’ pleasure, but did you give a damn? I could have been dying from a terminal case of Ebola but did you give a flying fig?
Fuck that.
It makes me wonder why I bother.
From now on I am just going to write to the two people in the whole Godforsaken planet who actually show a spark of decency – you know who you are.
But being a magnanimous sort of bloke, I will still wish you all a Happy Mother’s Day.
I don’t celebrate it myself
seeing as I’m not a mother.
Add me to the other two – I was about to email condolences to Herself.
Good to see you are still as cranky as ever.
"about to" is not fucking good enough. If you ran an old biddy down on a pedestrian crossing, would the judge accept an excuse that you were "about to" stop?
Knowing the judges over here, the answer is "probably". But then, it was Herself I was thinking about. She might have liked a few days peace before the ceremonies began.
Are you hoping to make a move there? She's still a married woman.
Oh, heartless GD. If you were in a ditch, she would no longer be married. Thank Heaven that charity is not (yet) taxed at source. But then, you would have nothing to complain, sorry, blog, about. Just stay away from suspicious bodies of water.
Damnit, BD, I'm trying to do you a favour. Whether I am dead or alive, you would be far better off turning your affections elsewhere. Ever thought of getting a dog?
Had a dog once. when I was six. Father had it put down. Never forgave him. Wife now has cats. As to affections, I remind you I have been married 44 years. Just looking to offer support on Herself's sad loss.
I wouldn't worry too much about Herself. She probably wouldn't even notice I have gone.
So sad. With potholes and non-working water pipes, an odd dog and unlawful taxation, Herself will be left with so much with which to contend. Better that you stay alive and keep up the wonderful entertainment.
Oi! some of us are busy digging onto the 'meanings of words' to gain an advantage when combating t'gubmint types. Anyhow I only check in when your 'update' is in the top ten over at the good captains shiny wordpress blog rss roll.
I gave that up as a bad job. No one can understand gubmint lingo, least of all themselves.
And the Good Captain has moved site and has not brought his links with him [that I can see anyway]. Bastard.
Tis true Ranty's new gaff is much slicker than the old one… exept for the uptodate RSS bog roll, sorry blog roll. It is there on the individual post pages but is missing from his homepage. He will get there though as there are wordpresswise kids on the case. Widgets are the answer.
Hah! Never noticed that. OK – he's not a bastard. Or if he is, then it's not for that reason.
I checked in GD and figured you were on the tare or something.
I would have definitely emailed by.. uh say Wednesday or Thursday.. mainly out of annoyance as to why I had no rambles to read.. We would have dispatched a laptop to the ditch. 🙂
By Wednesday or Thursday you would have even been too late for my funeral.
I am so glad I saved a laptop anyway [says he, sarcastically].
"Too late for your funeral" Who the hell is writing this? Have you Willed this place to some impostor posing as you? Or you writing this from the other side?
In a ditch? Oh gawd, 'Dead Rambles'! or would it be 'Brambles around the head of a …' either way can't imagine GD giving up. Anyway he's probably aimin' to head south where you can still have a smoke, and that horned fella would likely get a kick unleashing him upon us for eternity 🙂
"Dead Rambles"? I like it. Maybe I had better start that up? Get it up and running in preparation for my demise?
I said "would have been" – in other words, hypothetical.
On the other hand, if I am dead then Hell is remarkably like Ireland…….
Oh I see you were hypothetically sprawled out in a ditch somewhere and our emails to enquire as to your well being were gonna help, how exactly? And like hypothetically speaking, how were you going to answer said emails?
You would be missed though GD.. eventually. 🙂
I think you need some T.L.C. I went for a massage there recently.. highly recommend it.
You might even get a happy ending if you asked nicely.
Or else tell herself to get her act together..
please plant the flowers i sent by interflora in your garden they were meant for the funeral. good health to you and your lovely wife eamonn melbourne
Welcome, Eamonn and thanks for the flowers. The dog thinks they were delicious.
What's this about my lovely wife? Maybe you have the wrong address?
Did you miss a couple of days GD? I am sorry to admit that due to circumstances beyond my control I didn't notice. But I'm glad you're not in a ditch somewhere. It can cause terrible flooding when ditches get blocked. People are sometimes put in a position where they have to put their wellies on! Awful. Still, luckily that's not the case. You are alive and well and not blocking any ditches. Or costing the poor overburdened taxpayer. money to keep you incarcerated. Win, win really. 🙂
At last! Someone who cares. Well – someone who cares that I'm not causing a flood. Not sure what to make of that.
I doubt my demise will cost the taxpayer anything. They'll probably just bung me in the landfill along with the
other bodiesrubbish. And the gubmint is making sure that even after I shuffle off this mortal coil they'll still tax me.thought you were having a wee rest ya buggar! ta hell, you were just into mischief!
Don't I deserve a wee rest? Actually I had decided to quit altogether. Not sure why I started again.
I've been sick for the past week, Chest pains A&E etc etc still feeling shit so I admit I didn't notice you missed two days but if I had I wouldn't have given a shit anyway as I was too busy feeling sorry for myself, glad to see you're still alive though.
You were in A&E with chest pains? Wuss. It's no wonder there's a five year waiting lists for a hospital bed. Just have a hot whiskey and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Better still, have two cold ones. Just for starters.
Two days!? It wasn't even two days in a row! For the longest time you never posted on Saturdays I figured you were back to that. As to missing Thursday I concluded that you had IRL stuff to do.
IRL? Wassat? Do I belong to some paramilitary organisation I am not aware of?
In Real Life
I noticed your absence but just thought you were taking a wee break.
Glad you are back.
I was taking a wee break. Well, two actually. I may be back or there again, I may not…
According to drones, satellite photos, and wiretaps you were just fine.
Don't tell me you're involved with that CIA bunch of amateurs? They still haven't forgiven me for writing "The CIA are cunts" in large letters on my lawn. Heh!
For God sake GD, get real, two days is nothing. My offspring frequently stay in bed for two days, with not a thing wrong with them. Sadly it's kind of par for the course!
Naw, you'd have to be off air for at least two weeks before I'd be even slightly concerned. I can just imagine me telling my friends 'You know that cantankerous old bollix that I enjoyed reading on the internet, well I think he might have passed away. Shame really, he was entertaining, let's have a couple of glasses of wine to cheer me up'
Stay well, and keep taking those arthritis pills.
Mary
It is nice to know I figure so largely in people's lives. It's warming to know I would be so deeply missed.
Pfffft!
Okay, I admit it. But in my defense I did ha…Ah what the hell, I've caught uncaring!
It's damned contagious.
Dear Grandad,
Is it really better late than never, as the saying goes? I offer my sincere apologies for not searching high and low to find out who, what, where, and why there were missing posts. I have an excuse, albeit not the greatest one, though. I was on vacation! No internet, no phone, no TV, not even a radio. Can you believe it? Imagine my shock and disbelief, when I settled in with a nice hot cup of tea, and a little scone besides, to treat myself to uninterrupted Head Rambles, only to discover that there were 2 days missing! I spilled my tea and dropped the scone on the floor, which the dog promptly ran off with, thus spoiling my moment even further. So I switched to Irish Mist, and a few crumbs of dark chocolate (for my health, you know) and further followed the investigative reporting of your fine followers. You could probably hear my deep sigh of relief, all the way to The Manor, as the story unraveled! Please try not to scare me like that again! No Head Rambles? It's the sunshine of my every morning! Hugs to you and the Mrs. Double hugs to the Mrs.
Sincerely, respectfully, and joyfully submitted,
Susan
Dear Susan,
Welcome to my humble corner of the world, but there is no need to be quite so effusive.
"No internet, no phone, no TV, not even a radio. Can you believe it?" Frankly, no. There are always satellites hanging around somewhere, unless of course you were at the North or South Poles where I believe they are a little thin on the ground.
Anyhows, I'm sure the dog benefited from the scone and I'm sure the Irish Mist wasn't too much of a burden??
GD
P.S. Can I pass on the double hugs to Herself?
I really did have Internet, tv, phones and radio…..can't fool you, Grandad! But it was nice to be able to shut them all off and enjoy the silence. Please hug Herself yourself and I promise to not exaggerate in the future.
You are still asking me to hug Herself? What have I done to deserve that?
You never know what you might get in return!