I know you lot like to see me suffer, so today you should be very happy.
Because I’m not.
I fucking hate today and all it stands for.
The clocks changed last night so we are into the dark evenings. What’s worse, as each dark evening draws in there is the knowledge that tomorrow will be even darker.
Halloween always pisses me off too. It used to be a simple case of kids looking for apples or nuts, but now it’s that ghastly American “Trick or Treat”. They can fuck off. I’m going to electrify the gate again this year. That’s my treat. And they can fuck off with their bangers too.
And the weather has changed. It was pleasant enough but it has turned damp and chilly. I had to wear a sweater to go down to the village yesterday. I am more a short sleeved shirt sort of bloke. I don’t like having to wrap myself up in heavy layers. I have heard the odd mention on the weather forecast of those words “frost” and “snow”. *sigh*
Of course this is the time of year when the advertising industry goes into top gear and inundates us with horrible jingly ads that drive me crazy. They all insist my “perfect day” will be ruined if I haven’t stocked up on their fucking rubbish. How long will it be before I start hearing fucking Bing Crosby or fucking Slade blaring out from shop doorways? They say it’s to get me “in the mood”. It gets me in the mood all right – a fucking bad mood.
It is also the time of year when car trouble starts. I’m not one for long drives these days, but I do take quite a few short ones. The net result is that the battery slowly drains as each journey takes more out of it than I put in. So I have to keep remembering to put the fucking thing on trickle charge so I don’t end up stuck with no car.
The icing on the cake of course is the budget in a few weeks time. Not content with freezing me, immobilising me, plunging me into darkness and trying to fleece me for tat, they then decide that this is the time of year to steal all my hard earned cash.
I hate this time of year.