Flaming Olympics — 12 Comments

  1. We need to make the events more exciting. How about renting low caliber rifles with open sights to the spectators. I would oppose large calibers or optic sights we do want to make this a “sporting” event. Each spectator would have 5 shots at the contestants. Lets see how fast they run then.

  2. if the carrier is huffing and puffing you stand a good chance of him giving you a light as he’s probably a smoker to =)

  3. Jim C – Land mines randomly concealed on the running tracks?  And instead of javelin throwers just throwing into the grass, why not pitch them against each other?  Those games are full of potential if only they could do some imaginative thinking.

    Cat – I’m surprised that the anti-smoking crowd haven’t bitched about the torch.  Just think of all those deadly carcinogens it produces……

  4. They could make them like the old Roman games with a few lions/tigers/gladiators thrown in.
    Gladiators with javelins and discus etc. Lots fun. And blood. Loads of blood !!! 

  5. Now that the ball is rolling, we have the potential for some very interesting games.  All it takes is a little imagination.

    How about filling the weightlifters’ weights with explosive and a motion sensor switch?  Drop ’em or jerk ’em and you are out of the games [and this world].

  6. How about mixing all the contestants into the different events with added drugs. That would make very amusing TV.

    The Olympics, in reality are about big business, tha making of mega bucks, thats all. We think its all about winning medals. The real winners are the business’es.

    As an example, the 1996 Atlanta Olympics cost the city nothing as the sponsors, Coca Cola, AT&T etc, who were going to make millions, paid for it all. The Atlanta Braves even got a new state of the art stadium out of it when The Olympics were over.

    Thank Jasus we never staged it, because, like everything else, Joe Taxpayer would be paying for it.

  7. Some great suggestions for livening-up the Olympic events ..

    How about chariot racing ? .. with chariots being hauled by teams of pissed-up tarmacers ?

    Or fit, good looking lesbians wrestling in Swarfega ?

    Or dwarf-throwing ? ..

    Where the dwarves wear a cap, with a detonator on top .. the object being for each team to kill as many of the opposing team as possible, by hitting them with exploding airborne dwarves ..

    Team GB captain to be John Bercow …  the Frogs could have Sarkozy as their captain .. 😉

  8. How about getting back to the basics. Every contestant has to compete in the nude. Make the 100 m hurdles a race of skill not speed. Jesus they’d be very careful striding over the fences then.
    For the women – and the girlie boys among us – wrestling would become a top viewing sport – if you’re into that sort of thing.
    Any of the floor excercises – I’d queue up for tickets.
    (Have to stop now – I’m beginning to get excited. As an aside, I had a heart attack last Friday so have been told to calm down).

  9. Slab – This site runs on Eastern Mountain Time.  Not many people know that.  As for the Olympics in Ireland – surely we could borrow a few billion?

    Haddock – I could run with those ideas [thereby keeping up the sporting theme].  Another idea I had was to dump a skip load of piranha into the swimming pool just after the start of each race.  That should see some world records beaten?

    Snookertony – Now we’re sucking diesel!  Nude Olympics?  I like it!!  It would need to carry a health warning though, as you say.  By the way, was you attack fatal?  I hope not.

  10. Is nothing sacrosanct?
    Still an all – I did gasp and laugh – funniest (and most begrudging) take on this story so far.

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