I see they are talking about bringing the Olympic Torch to Ireland.
Big. Fucking. Wow.
They seem to think that this is a big honour but I can’t think why. Flames are quite common these days with the invention of the match and all. In fact, I have just lit the central heating. Maybe I should have invited the neighbours in to admire The Flame?
I am dreading the Olympics. I am dreading the endless reports, replays and analysis. Any decent programming on television will go out the window to make way for endless film of wankers chasing each other around a track. How fucking boring can you get.
It wouldn’t be too bad if it were ordinary Joe Soaps taking part, but the whole business has descended into farce with millions being poured into the training. It’s like a clinically well oiled machine now and the best drop of excitement can only be achieved by someone shaving a millionth of a second off the previous record. We will also get the inevitable accusations that some contestant should be disqualified on the grounds [pun!] that they drank a cup of coffee in the previous six months. So fucking what?
To make the Olympics more interesting they should really allow performance enhancing drugs. Each contestant could wear the logo of the drug company and we could watch with baited breath as the runners cross the finishing line only to explode in a blaze of glory. The contest would then be between the drugs and not the contestants. I reckon that would liven things up considerably. We could even see contestants being disqualified for not taking drugs. Heh!
In the meantime, if I see some tosser running past the house carrying a flaming torch, I suppose I can always ask him for a light?