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Conundrum — 12 Comments

  1. That doesn’t work.  The machine won’t work if the door is open and I’m damned if I’m going to amputate my hands just to wash ’em.

  2. That is when you wash them by hand first, so the washing machine does not have to do it.

  3. Automatic washing machine. You are spoiling her. You should be ashamed of yourself. They will all want one next. Then what is next? Electric vacuum cleaners? Dishwashers? Where will it all end?

  4. Popeye – I thought as much.  Fucking useless machines.

    TT – I only let her use it as a treat, or when the stream dries up in Summer.  I’m not stupid.

  5. i’ve never figured it out, same with perm. press cycle, what if i don’t want my clothes with a permenent pressing??

  6. Maybe it’s one of those intrusive notices you see everywhere today that order you to this or that. In your case, the machine is telling you (ordering you) to wash your dirty hands before you paw it

  7. An English man and an Irishman are at the urinal. They finish and zip up. The English man proceeds to the sink to wash his hands, while Paddy immediately makes for the exit.
    English man says, “At Eton they teach us to wash our hands after we urinate.”
    Paddy replies, “At Ballymun Tech they teach us not to piss on our hands.”

  8. Cat – Ours does everything bar make the tea.  The problem is getting it NOT to do something.  There is no way to stop it spinning.  Herself sits on it to try to stop it, but that doesn’t seem to work.  It seems to make her happy though….

    John – It can fuck off.  I wash my hands on my birthday.  Why break the habit of a lifetime?

    Notgreen – I saw a video a while ago – it was at some festival or other.  Bloke goes into a cubicle.  Comes out.  Looks around for a handbasin [there was none, it was one of those temporary affairs].  Proceeds to wash his hands in the trough which had about three inches of stale piss!  Realised what he had done.  Freaked.  🙂

  9. I’m one of those traditional once-a-week bath takers. In the interests of recycling and before ever I bought a washing machine on hire purchase from the ESB during one of their rare discount sales weeks I used to steep shirts and y-fronts in the warm bath water after use. Then next morning I’l unplug the bath; then I’d fill a large plastic bucket with warm water ex-tap, shaking in a minimal ration of effective Brand X detergent. I handwashed the shirts and unmentionables, rinsed them and then hung to dry on a clothes horse in my drained bath. Then I went out to a newsagent and bought five Sunday newspapers to laze away my afternoon on.
    I hope this explains how to use a hand wash for all you technical illiterates.

  10. Grumpy – Thank you very much for the instructions.  I’m sure they will come in very useful.  To someone?

  11. You’re welcome pal; and remember, always use Brand X for the whitest results in your handwashing. Don’t be taken in by glossy advertising on television about pseudo-scientific tests that show that Sudzo and other high brand detergents outwash Brand X.

    Brand X Brand X Brand X  (OK end of commercial)

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