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A little damp problem

Head Rambles Posted on by

For a long time now, I have been suffering from a dribble.

I would aim, and the main flow would hit the spot, but now matter how careful I was, there would always be a little puddle on the floor after.

Herself was always complaining.  “What’s all that liquid on the kitchen floor?” she’d shriek.

I would explain that it was just my dribble and there was nothing I could do about it.

Visitors to Head Rambles Man0r would often remark about the number of little puddles around the place, and I would have to explain to them about my little problem.  They were always very understanding and sympathetic.

I used to clean them up, but that became a tad tedious, as there were so many of them.  In the end I just left the puddles to dry of their own accord.

Things came to a bit of a head the other day when Herself slipped in a rather large pool I had accidentally created by the cooker.  “Jayzus!” she roared.  “Will you ever do something about that fucking dribble.”

I happened to find myself in Skobieville a couple of days later and thought I had better do something.

It was a quick operation.  I was in and out in no time at all.

The floor has been bone dry ever since.

It is amazing the difference a new kettle with a properly designed spout makes.

 

Comments

A little damp problem — 14 Comments

  1. You mean YOU had to go to Skobieville to get a replacement kettle? Thats outrageous.

    Herself is getting way out of the pram these days what with the bra burning and Jedward and everything….

    Complete abdication of female duties via a vis kitchenware I’d suggest. Naked insurrection Groandad. Thats what it is. Naked insurrection.

  2. Cap’n C – I was in there anyway buying some drugs something else.  There is no way that I would allow herself behind the wheel of a car.  She’s dangerous enough pushing a wheelbarrow.

  3. I’m confused. You use the kettle. Not herself. And you use it around the kitchen. I’m more confused. Me? If I really have to use the kettle, its, unplug, move to tap (about a foot way), fill kettle, return to plug (again about a foot away). Never goes near the floor. Unless herself is doing something with the hot water.

  4. The old kettle was one of those fancy modern designs.  It didn’t matter how careful I was, the fucking thing dribbled down the side.  It weant lots of water went either on the counter top or on the floor.  Whats’ confusing about that?  Idiot.

  5. Very subtle Grandad – brought a wry smile when I realised what you meant … those of us getting on in age are increasingly aware of dribbles ……

  7. Hah!  That old chestnut rears its stupid head again.  That entire theory is based on ‘research’ done by a crackpot doctor in the States, who incidentally is a fanatical anti-smoker.  There are so many holes in his arguments that I am amazed that the BBC has given him any space at all.  But there again, anything that is anti-smoking seems to be accepted without question these days.

  8. I bet the fucker drove to the press conference as well. I’m actually beginning to enjoy these panicky little health nazi releases as I think the penny is beginning to drop with people about these unelected and apparently unaccountable politicans called ‘researchers’.

    Third-hand smoke … for jesus sake don’t admit to farting at home. Methane abuse will get you a life sentence in Alcatraz.

    I note the suggestion is that smoking should be banned in the home. Get the implication of that one … time to dig up the guns.

  9. kettles ? tea ? most likely camomile knowing you….

    buy some coffee [the real stuff] and start acting like a man.
    It’ll suit a lot better with your perfect pipe 😉

    *wonders if you have a smoking jacket….
    .-= peter donegan´s last brainfart .. Which Compost To Buy =-.

  10. What’s wrong with tea?  I do draw the line at camomile though!  Ordinary grand strong tea.  Coffee is for Americans and when I’m in the village.

    I used to have a smoking jacket but it was never the same after I extinguished it.  Never put a lit pipe in your pocket.

  12. Heh heh Grandad … had me going there .. Lol

    Don’t you just love those poxy little stainless steel tea pots in cafes .. which pour boiling water everywhere but in the bloody cup ?

    I too had a “smoking” jacket once .. a nice Tweed one it was too .. till I did the same as you .. It never looked right again afterwards .. Ha ha ..

  13. Sean – I blame those fuckers in the kettle place who produced a fancy design with a vertical spout  and then never fucking tested it.  Bastards.

    Cap’n H – Those teapots are probably designed by the same bastard.  You at least will sympathise with me?  And tweed jackets seem to lack that air of panache when they have a bloody great black hole in one pocket?

  14. You have my full sympathy Grandad .. I’ve fallen victim to the buggers many times ..

    I’m convinced its an international conspiracy against we tea-drinking pipe smokers … Ha ha

    As for Jackets, Tweed, smoking for the use of .. least said soonest mended .. or not, as the case may be .. Lol

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