Is Cowen my aunt?
I was pondering the meaning of life and clipping my toenails this morning when I came across a brainfart on ‘A view from Kerry’.
It got me thinking.
Now it may not be a good idea to get me thinking, but once the deed is done, it is done.
When I started writing this rubbish back in the dim distant past, I mused and I pondered, but I didn’t rant quite so much. I was sparing with the expletives, and when I used them, I peppered them with asterisks, as I didn’t want to offend anyone.
Using asterisks as a substitute for letters can be risky, as describing Cowen as a complete *unt could be misinterpreted as meaning he is a cunt rather than an aunt. Anyway my offspring K8 rightly pointed out that it was somewhat hypocritical to use asterisks as everyone knew what I meant anyway [as presumably they know that Cowen isn’t my aunt?].
Over the years, it is true, my use of expletives has increased somewhat. I has been said that such usage indicates a lack of vocabulary, and this indeed is the case. I have run out of words.
I always knew that our esteemed government were a shower of corrupt incompetents, but over the last year or so they have excelled themselves to the point where I have literally run out of superlatives. Even describing them as motherfucking wanking cunts doesn’t go a fraction of the way to describing my heartfelt feelings towards them. My problem now is that I am running out of expletives.
Of course it isn’t just the government that I despair over.
I am saddened by the Irish as a whole, or indeed Ireland as a hole.
I am saddened that they persist in voting Fianna Fail back into power. I am saddened by the ease with which they were fooled into voting for Lisbon. Most of all, I am saddened that despite the appalling mess we are in, the only thing that gets the country talking is Thierry Henry or Jedward.
Talking of Jedward….
What a pair of embarrassing fucking wankers!
not too sure about ‘brainfart’ – I’ll take it as a compliment. at the time my brain was about to explode – bit more than a fart. nevertheless I am in 100% agreement with you and your view of this sorry septic isle. I have no issue with your fucks and cunts and even wanker dotted throughout your writings.
it is the cretinous fuckers who shout, roar and generally spew nonsense with no real agenda other than ‘look at me!, listen to me!’ I think you may know of a few such sites. they can do what they like (free speech and all that).
there are not words in the english language to describe cowen and his cohorts. feel free to fuck them from a height.
Kerryview – Indeed, it is a compliment. There is nothing pejorative about a brainfart. That’s where I get my inspirations most of the time.
Indeed, I do know of a couple of sites that follow that philosophy, and good luck to ’em. It doesn’t stop me from reading.
That mental image of fucking Cowen is very disturbing. I wish you hadn’t said that.
The most exasperating thing about the Irish is that they’re collectively happy to do fuck all about the robbing, corrupt bastards they put in charge of decision making.
It’s as if the populace enjoys being repeatedly reamed with a chilli seed covered brush-shaft wrapped in barbed wire and prefers that to the thought of wondering what it feels like to be blown or licked until your legs shudder. They can imagine what it must be like but prefer to stick to the sensation they’re used to.
That should send a few interesting Google searches your way.
Back on subject, perhaps you need to develop a new lexicon of expletives.
Not Twitter – I baffles me how one in four of the Irish still say they would vote that shower of bastards back in.
Suggestions for new expletives are always welcome……
Check out Roger’s Profanasorus in Viz magazine.
The only problem is that the ‘one in four’ you mention may not actually exist. Fianna Fail are mad keen on the old postal voting I notice and that means only one thing- they’ve found a way to fiddle a load of votes.
Put that together with the 40% margin of erroneous names on the Irish electoral register and they can claim what they want. None of this will be attended to until after 2012 at the earliest, conveniently enough.
It wouldn’t surprise me if Jack Lynch was reelected in West Cork next time out. And he’s been dead for decades.
A bishop was doing a crossword puzzle in a crowded railway carriage. After filling in some clues, he suddenly looked very puzzled.
After a minute or so he said out loud: ‘Can anyone help me? I want a four letter word ending in -UNT with female connections’.
After a short pause a young man suggested: ‘What about AUNT, sir?’
‘Ah, thank you so much’, replied the bishop, ‘I thought I must be wrong’.
was it not the clue “found at the bottom of a bird cage” 4 letters ending in IT, sez big ronnie. GRIT sez little ronnie. knew I was wrong, big ronnie.
2 ronnies. gods.
Cap’n – How can Jack Lynch be dead? Didn’t he vote 137 times in the last election?
Ian – Hah! I heard it as the Pope!
Kerryview – Masters of a bygone age.