Blasphemy
me: âHowya God? Howâs tricks?â
God: âAh, hello Grandad. We havenât spoken in a while. Howâs she cuttinâ?â
Me: âRight down the middle, God. I was just wondering what you thought of the new blasphemy thing?â
God: âWhat new blasphemy thing? I thought you humans got tired of that in the Middle Ages?â
Me: âThe Irish government are bringing in a new blasphemy law, so that anyone who offends anyone else in any manner whatsoever can be punished severely. It has something to do with religion, but Iâm not sure what.â
God: âWhat? They are worried about my feelings again? HEY! JESUS!â
Jesus: âYou called? Oh, howya Grandad!â
Me: âHi JC!â
God: âDid ya hear what Grandad just said?â
Jesus: âHow would I hear what Grandad just said when I wasnât here? Do you think Iâm omnipotent or something?â
God: âThat shower down on Earth have just resurrected blasphemy again!â
Jesus: âI thought we had the market cornered on resurrection?â
God: âDonât be smart. Donât you realise what this means?â
Jesus: âWhat?â
God: âWe are back in business. Dust of the angels in the legal department and tell âem to get cracking.â
Me: âI would have thought you were above being offended?â
God: âI am offended by the idea that they think I can be offended. Thatâs enough in my book.â
Me: âSo who are you going to sue?â
God: âYour fucking government, of course.â
Me: No point. They are broke. If you force them to stay in power they keep all their perks, and if you force them out, then they no longer need worry about the state of things. You canât win.â
God: âWe always win. Jesus. Get thinking and find out ways of lumbering them with the Greens and Mary Harney for the rest of eternity.â
Me: âFuck! You can be harsh sometimesâ¦â¦.â
“Blasphemy” You gotta be kidding me. What the hell is going on over there.
it begs the philosophical question….
“Can God make a statement so blasphemous he offends himself?”
TT – I wish I were kidding you. They have forced in the most incredibly inane law that has made us the laughing stock of the world. It has opened the way for every fucking freak, from Christian Scientists to those wankers, the Jedi to have a go.
My, my–what have you started?
Roosta – If God is almighty, then yes. Of course he is capable of offending himself. An interesting court case?
Kirk M – I didn’t start anything. Blame those dumb-fucks in our Glorious Government.
Well there go my vacation plans. I wouldn’t last 5 minutes before ticking someone off… My concern now is that the idgets over here don’t hear about it and think it’s a good thing ;/
Grandad – I think I’ll head over and offend them then. I wonder what they think this new law will achieve? besides more revenue for the governement that is.
Riddle me this, my theist chums: if God hadn’t wanted us to blaspheme, why did he give us blasphemy.
Check mate, I think you’ll find. Weep not, for obviously (from the complexity of my argument above) I hold a doctorate in theological studies from Trinity College. 7 years of religous philosphosing was all brought to bear in the slam-dunk above.
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Well I’m offended by your post. So now what? Are you to be be-headed or drawn and quartered or maybe dunked in the Liffey until you repent. Do I have file suit against you or do I announce my offence by nailing my grievence to some church door? Maybe I need to take my case to some panel of Spanish clerics who will then decide what punishment is to be doled out to you. Of course this would all take place before the trial to see if what you did was in fact blasphemous or not.
As I read your post I kept hearing a song.  Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, Oh wonderful spam!
Nothing new, the good old USA has had it for years. We just substitute race and gender for religion. Talking to a female coworker and say the sky is “blue” and she can sue you and your company for sexist comments creating a hostile work place. What is sexist about saying teh sky is blue? nothing, but that doesn’t matter. All that matters in court is what she thought it meant.