I was down in the shop yesterday.
The girl there was having a bit of trouble with my credit card [apparently Lithuanian credit cards can be tricky?], and while she was fiddling with it, she chirped up “are you all prepared for Christmas then?”
I could have thumped her, but I need somewhere to buy my tobacco, so I didn’t.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I replied, and left it at that.
But what am I supposed to prepare? I just don’t understand this mass hysteria about one day.
I like Christmas, but in the traditional sense.
It is a day for relaxing with the family, and spreading a bit of love. To me, it is a Christian festival, but it is also a celebration of mid-winter where the days at last begin to get a bit longer. It is a time of burying the old year and looking forward in anticipation to the new one.
So what the fuck is all this about buying, buying, buying?
I am all for tradition. I put up my wee tree, and throw up a bit of holly and ivy. The house looks nice when I do that. It helps to hide the blood stains on the walls.
But I am also prepared to reject those traditions that don’t suit me. I’m not that fond of turkey, so why the hell should I lash out a small fortune on a bird that I am going to have to eat and not enjoy for many days? It doesn’t make sense.
We do, of course, exchange presents. That is fine, but we don’t go overboard. We don’t place any emphasis on the monetary value of presents but more on the thought that goes into them. I would much rather a lump of wood that acts as a pipe rack to a state of the art surround sound 120 inch plasma television. Well, maybe I wouldn’t but I’m not going to break with tradition.
I apologise to all those furniture stores, mobile phone companies and perfume people who are so desperate to get me to part with senseless wads of cash, but you can all fuck off. I refuse to spend just for the sake of spending.
My one concession to Christmas is to lay in a couple of kegs of Guinness.
Just in case.