Preparing for Christmas?
I was down in the shop yesterday.
The girl there was having a bit of trouble with my credit card [apparently Lithuanian credit cards can be tricky?], and while she was fiddling with it, she chirped up “are you all prepared for Christmas then?”
I could have thumped her, but I need somewhere to buy my tobacco, so I didn’t.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I replied, and left it at that.
But what am I supposed to prepare? I just don’t understand this mass hysteria about one day.
I like Christmas, but in the traditional sense.
It is a day for relaxing with the family, and spreading a bit of love. To me, it is a Christian festival, but it is also a celebration of mid-winter where the days at last begin to get a bit longer. It is a time of burying the old year and looking forward in anticipation to the new one.
So what the fuck is all this about buying, buying, buying?
I am all for tradition. I put up my wee tree, and throw up a bit of holly and ivy. The house looks nice when I do that. It helps to hide the blood stains on the walls.
But I am also prepared to reject those traditions that don’t suit me. I’m not that fond of turkey, so why the hell should I lash out a small fortune on a bird that I am going to have to eat and not enjoy for many days? It doesn’t make sense.
We do, of course, exchange presents. That is fine, but we don’t go overboard. We don’t place any emphasis on the monetary value of presents but more on the thought that goes into them. I would much rather a lump of wood that acts as a pipe rack to a state of the art surround sound 120 inch plasma television. Well, maybe I wouldn’t but I’m not going to break with tradition.
I apologise to all those furniture stores, mobile phone companies and perfume people who are so desperate to get me to part with senseless wads of cash, but you can all fuck off. I refuse to spend just for the sake of spending.
My one concession to Christmas is to lay in a couple of kegs of Guinness.
Just in case.
Yes.
I’m prepared.
Good onya Grandad! Our Christmas is about our family being together and for the first time in three years we’re all here except one. It’s home made Limoncello and cheap gifts, fun times and al fresco barbecue. Splashing in the pool, playing cricket in the garden, exchanging funny gifts. Long gone are the days of mince pies and cake and nuts and all that fill you up before dinner stuff . It’s all swimmers and silly T shirts . . of course it will all end in a drunken mess of debauchery over some drinking game and with someone wearing a beer carton on their head but . .hey . .it works for us . .I hope yours is lovely!
“a couple of kegs of Guinness”? My Lord that toilet bowl from the other day doesn’t stand a chance so.
Unless you get some festive Toilet Duck in with scent of mulled wine and alpine forest!
Very well put. That question gets my goat up no end. I’m now responding to it with “If you could perhaps explain what the fuck that means…”
A few presents for those who are closest to me and a few brews are about the height of my purchasing, too.
Baino – I very much doubt I’ll take a swim in the pool at Christmas, partly [as you damned well know] it’s bloody freezing here, and partly because we don’t have one. I hope you have a great one too, and enjoy the sun [*bitch!*]
NaRocRoc – I don’t serve bad pints from my kegs…..
Andrew – I very nearly asked her the same, but it would have been ungracious, and I do rely on them for my baccy.
I reminded of the Peanuts cartoon, going to a shopping center on December 26 they see a sign, “only 364 shopping days until Christmas”. Still it does keep the wife occupied for a month or so. I think there must be a “shopping” gene somewhere in the female genome.
What really annoyed me this year was that, in a crass attempt to stimulate the failing economy, someone in their infinite wisdom started Christmas early! All over the country, lights were switched on, crap Christmas songs rang out in shops, in November. F*cking NOVEMBER!! It isn’t even Christmasa yet and already I’m sick of it.
One highlight though was, on paying for something I’d bought at a local DIY Superstore last week, the cashier (poor girl), who was surrounded by Singing Santys, dinging Christmas bells and chiming novelty door knockers looked at me as I paid and pleaded, ‘Please KILL ME!’.
Commercialisation has killed this season… Whenever some mentions Christmas, I want to thump them one.
But I can’t thump well, so I just throw the bear at them…
We must have been separted at birth.
We must have been separated at birth.
Jim C – I guarantee it’s going to happen here. The shops are going frantic trying to get us to spend. As for women and shopping? ???????
Jack – Ha! Poor girl. I feel sorry for those who work in the shops. It’s bad enough listening to that tacky tinny music during a visit, but to put up with it all day? There should be something in the Geneva Convention about that.
TheChrisD – Do you want a supply of weapons?
TT – All three of us?
Amen about the turkey–even Lidl wants a week’s pay for one, and they’re hardly bigger than a chicken unless you special order it, and that’s big money. For that money we can treat everyone in our family to a really nice steak instead.
Bah humbug!
Tomorrow I buy earplugs. Then I will be prepared. For the squealing, the fighting, the snide remarks and the all ’round boredom. Roll on my grandfather’s version of deafness is all I can say.
Susan – I bet if you mention to anyone that you are having steak, you get very strange looks?
Brianf – There’s always one. *sigh*
Thrifty – Forget the deafness, and just go with the earplugs. It is also one of those rare days, I could approve of an MP3 player?
I’ve worked every Christmas for the past twenty-three years. Don’t know why the calendar couldn’t be worked out differently; Christmas always seems to come at such a busy time of the year.
Ian – Have you ever considered changing jobs? 😉
I’m with you. I get a little tired of people saying ‘that’s what Christmas is about’ all the time, and find myself yelling at the TV/radio, “No it flipping isn’t!!!”
I have celebrated Christmas in the middle of summer (in the southern hemisphere) and in the middle of winter. I have celebrated it with roast dinner, with a barbecue and with cold meat and salads. I have spent Christmas day on the beach and huddled indoors. I have spent it in the bosom of the enormous extended family, and with just the four of us. It’s still Christmas. It has nothing to do with mistletoe or hohoho or let it snow.
We don’t like turkey much, either, no are we fans of mince pies or Christmas pudding, so we have whatever we *do* like. Our sons take it in turns to be in charge of the menu, and my husband does a roast something-or-other in the kettle barbecue (yes, even in the winter!).
We have had Christmas when everyone has been flush and when everyone has been broke. In our family, the rule has always been: big gifts for birthdays, little gifts for Christmas. This year is one of the ‘everyone is broke’ variety. Our gifts this year have to be something you make, something you do or, if you’re absolutely desperate, something from the 99p shop. We’re having a ball. There’s knitting and woodwork and painting and fudgemaking and the creation of video clips going on.
Happy Christmas Grandad! I think I’ve said it all over at mine …. so as you are coming to expect I will say no more! X
Well spoken Grandad! I’ve been away from the computer for over a week as it crashed (some virus) and cost me a fortune to recover my stuff. It’s nice to have some entertaining posts to return to.
I think Ireland sounds like it’s just as bad as the USA with all the commercialism which is a pity. We just lay low, give small gifts and spend the day together. End of story. The only thing missing for me is family, (unless you count inlaws which I don’t!) and of course if I could have anything at Christmas, that’s what I’d ask for.
It’s all a big waste of energy and money. I tend to watch and get exhausted just looking at the parking lot at the shops!
Hope your day and season is merry and blessed. Glad to be back 🙂