Rambling footprints
There is an awful lot of talk these days about carbon footprints.
I always thought they were things I left on the carpet after sweeping the chimney, but apparently not.
There is a very irritating prick on television here by the name of Duncan Stewart. He is constantly getting his knickers in a twist over carbon footprints so I thought I had better do some further investigation.
Apparently carbon footprints are something to do with Global Warming, which, as we all know is a phenomenon dreamed up by Al Gore to further his career and to get himself a Nobel Prize.
I found a website that I can use to calculate my footprint at Change.ie.
I always thought that my footprint would be the same as my shoe size which is 11.
Imagine then my horror when I found my number was way off.
I have a lot of work to do.
I have jacked up the car onto concrete blocks and it’s running flat out 24 hours a day, when I’m not actually driving it.
I have re-thought my trip to the Irish Blog Awards, and instead of driving, I shall be flying [via London, Bangkok, Sydney, Los Angeles and New York].
I am also going to have a lot more vindaloos as my flatulence levels, while impressive, can always be improved upon.
But first, I’m going out to drop a nine inch cavity block onto Duncan Stewart from a great height.
That has nothing to do with carbon footprints.
It just seems like a good idea.
If you try to do anything to Duncan Stewart my good man, you’ll have to go through me first!!!!
…because I’ll be there before you trying to stuff energy-saving lightbulbs into him where they’ll never shine.
He is indeed a VERY irritating prick.
If you really want to up your carbon footprint, get into farming and start feeding all the cattle some baked beans!
You can then use the same cattle to trample Duncan repeatedly.
JL – I saw him first! You can have him when I have done my bit.
Niall – I think the vindaloo idea will produce more methane than a herd of cattle. Trampling is a good idea though.
You forgot to include the pipe, that should at least triple your footprint.
We could close every factory down; spend the evenings sitting in darkness around a fire of three sods of turf telling stories and singing morose songs; eat nothing but potatoes grown in our quarter acre; hand weave clothes from the wool of our own sheep; walk no further than the church, or the hiring market, (which would be full, the school leaving age having been reduced to 12) and it would hardly compensate for the annual increase in China.
According to that website mine is 3.40 and even that is too high – it should be 2.70.
I blame the holidays in the sun!!!
What a pleasant thought – dropping a nine inch cavity block onto Duncan Stewart. One made with real cement of course. Not one of those bloody Ecocem yokes.
That calculator is bonkers!
I have an old 1.8 litre car, have 84 light bulbs in the house (I’m not kidding!), fly to England twice and Austria once every year, and commit various other transgressions and my score is 3.18.
I was hoping mine would be higher than yours Grandad – but alas no! A measly 6.58. Most of it down to flights and personal travel (ie. driving). I need to get out more…
I get 8 mpg out of my car. Pretty good for a 6 liter engine.
I think I tried to calculate mine before and got bored halfway through. And I’m trying to calculate it now, and the site won’t even load…
OK, maybe they just hate IE8 then…
Apparently, my number is 6.38. But I did include two short-haul return flights (for holdiays) which I actually haven’t been on in over 2 years. So taking out that 10% will bring it down to a nice 5.72 🙂
I am working very hard to bring my figure to eleven or more. Surely my footprint has to be at least as big as my shoe size?
I’m very glad I’m doing better than you lot anyway.
Duncan must be proud of me.
The only thing I really find irritating in Duncan Stewart is his accent. And somehow it sounds worse in his radio ads than when he gives some proper advice.
I must check this website and calculate my own. Didn’t know it existed. Thanks for making me aware. (Since I haven’t used an aeroplane in 18 years, I suppose that my carbon footprint might be rather small…)
Emerald – It’s his accent and the way he speaks as if he were on Blue Peter. “And now Johnny is putting in some extra insulation. Aren’t you Johnny?” I just want to smack him one when he is on.
I was actually thinking of getting some work done on The Manor and asking him to film it. Endless opportunities to do some very nasty things… 😈
Yes, accidents can happen easily around a house, especially when there is some work done… 🙂
And yes, the way he speaks is very strange. Hope you don’t think I am arrogant, but when it comes to language I am a bit of a purist. Especially spoken language, as I have no choice but to hear it, while a badly written text I can always put away.
There is another chap on the wireless, by the name of O’Neill (can’t think of his first name now). He appears now and then on Mooney’s afternoon programme on Radio 1, and if I’m not mistaken, he is a gardener of some sorts. He also has a most annoying way of speaking and I wonder how a man with such an accent gets a job on the wireless…
What is striking me is that I know exactly where that mat in the picture was purchased…
I think I’ll buy a couple of tons of coal and set it on fire in my backyard. Hopefully it will burn down those nasty CO2 sucking trees too.
I’m sure Atomic bombs leave pretty big “footprints”.
Sleep with one eye open.
My ‘merkan footprint was 8.992! Ha! Leave it to the Americans to go big! 🙂
Bugger (Maxi), prepare for war!
Yawn…I’m just awake now. What what, Duncan Stewart? Oh my. Ye had to bring that free-loading cotton-bud idiot into the Ramble to spoil a brief, idyllic globally-positive time of a young president, quenched Bush-fires and slightly lower mortgage interest rates.
Believe me, cotton-bud is a waste of energy and belongs in the Plank museum.
So yes, the breeze block I fully endorse
I have to share this with you, since you made me aware of this website that calculates one’s carbon footprint. I just went there and answered all their questions. Since I don’t fly and rarely travel at all, I expected a very small number to appear when I pressed the final button.
Now I am sitting here – shocked – and looking at the number. It says that my carbon footprint is 10.47!!!
I cannot believe it. But since that is close to your shoe size, maybe we should swap our living conditions… 😀
Looking at the details I noticed what gets me so high up. I live in a house “built before 1930” (well before that, actually) and I heat this little house with solid fuel (coal, fire wood and peat). That makes 95% of my carbon footprint. I am still shocked and can hardly believe it.
And there I was, a lifelong environmentalist and so concious with all the things I do. One never gets it right, does one?
Emerald – I am jealous! You are almost on my exact ideal footprint. I can fit into ten and a half shoes at a pinch, but it is a bit of a pinch. So my answer is to ditch the oil and go for an open fire? Burn all my rubbish? I have a few old car tires that should do the trick?
12.10!!!
Household electricity consumption (77.60%) ?
Coal Fire.
Old car
size 11 feet (too big for me boots, ha!)
Jayzus Mick! You are going back in time a bit?
I just recalculated mine, but used the advanced calculator. I am delighted to announce that I have vastly improved my rating…….
I’m now at 12.39 😮
Hah!