The future is a blank screen
So Digital Television is finally coming to Ireland?
When we first got a television here in the mountains, the only signal we could get was HTV from Wales. It was crystal clear, and all you needed for an aerial was a small lump of wire in the socket. Of course, that was the old 405 line service, and they soon switched that off.
The only option to us then was to try to pick up the 625 line transmissions, but they are iffy at the best of times. They are very dependent on the weather. Sometimes we get nothing at all, and sometimes we can pick up signals from the far side of the U.K. RTE is a dead loss, and we can’t pick that up properly at all, because there are too many hills around.
We finally succumbed to satellite. This was a pain in the arse at the beginning, because it only gave us a couple of hundred stations that were all crap. After a while, they copped on and put BBC, ITV, RTE and Channel 4 on it. That was better, but we can only watch one programme at a time, which means we can’t record anything if we are watching something else. So we kept the old system, just in case.
Now, with the introduction of digital television, they are going to switch off all the old transmitters, which means we will have satellite only.
So what does this mean?
For a start, I can remove the pile of scrap metal from the chimney that was supposed to pick up the signals, but didn’t.
Apart from that, nothing.
Except, of course that RTE are to introduce new channels.
Wow! Now this is really exciting stuff. This is the bit I just cannot wait for. Let’s see what’s on offer….
Fist off the starting blocks, is Dáil TV. When I saw this was coming, I had an instant orgasm of delight. This is going to be riveting stuff. I am going to be able to sit up all night and watch an empty Dáil chamber! If there is a Dáil debate, I can watch it in full swing – three TDs debating with all the other TDs that couldn’t bother their arses to turn up. This is going to be edge of the seat television, and I can’t wait for that one.
Then there is the Irish film channel. I’m not sure what they mean by this? Is it films that are made in Ireland? There are hundreds of those, but I have seen them all. Is it films that are made by the Irish? There are fewer of those, but I have seen most of them too. Or could it be [be still, my beating heart] films in the Irish language? That would be a killer. We are going to have wall-to-wall 24 hour transmission of ‘Mise Éire’. That is great!
Next we have the RTE3 which is to show archive material. Jayzus! Quicksilver and The Riordans? No. Forget that one.
Finally we have RTE1+1. Another ground breaking idea. When we have watched two hours of Pat The Plank masturbating his ego on the Late Late, we can switch over at the end and watch another hour of it. Or we can watch the Nine O’Clock News at ten. That’s novel!
I think it’s time for me to take up knitting.
Its not much better here – can I put an early order in for a sweater?
What gets me is that they’ll surely use these piss poor offerings to justify another license fee increase.
And if Pat Kenny gets another salary increase it’s going to make Bill Gates a bit uneasy!
RTE3 wouldn’t be terrible.
Don’t Feed The Gondolas, Love Is The Drug and Bachelor’s Walk deserve repeats.
Kate – Just send me size, colour and pattern.
Maxi – Do they really need an excuse to look for an increase? They managed to seek some fairly hefty hikes in the past for no apparent reason?
BBB – Hmmmmm. Never watched any of those first time around, so it’s unlikely I’d risk it on a rerun!
Apparently the digital box yolk will cost us €9.99 per year or something like that. At least that’s what I gathered from an interview with Emo Ryan in yesterdays Irish Examiner. It might be free-to-air but it looks like we will have to pay to recieve..
Just found this load of crap from the Department of Communications, energy and Natural Resources.
Quite ironic that given that part of that departments remit is supposed to include the internet, their site looks shite if you use Firefox. *Sigh* 😐
Robert – They can fuck off. I’m not paying any more. Not for that crap anyway. As for the website – it’s not too hot in Internet Explorer either! So much for the Department of Communications. 😉
Hi Grandad, its nice to come back after prolonged offline/comp problems to find you still ranting happily away!
They’ve got digital here but I haven’t got it – too many foreign channels (alas no Irish though) and anyway, me telly’s on the blink… Wonder what the 3rd technological disaster will be in house Geri(?)
Oh please, not the kettle….!!!!!!
I know I can watch Father Ted ad nauseum. Didn’t that actor snuff it ?
Craggy Island hee hee. Brilliant.
Geri – Me? Ranting? Surely not? If my kettle snuffed it, I don’t know what I’d do. I’d have to root out the old billy-can…..
TT – Hah! RTE were offered Father Ted. They declined and it was made in the UK. Another RTE fuckup!
Christ! They were never offered Father Ted, Arthur and Graham were established writers in England by that point(Day Today, Fast Show); why are people so stupid to think that they genuinely would’ve offered it to RTE first?
Is it bad that I’m kind of excited by the thoughts of both Dáil TV and an Irish Film Channel?
Dáil *could* drast drastically improve the quality of debates in the chamber by forcing TDs to participate. It *could* also help us see the end of the 3 line whip.
Irish Film Channel could let people see movies like the excellent Garage, Alarm and the Daisy Chain. There are a lot more decent Irish movies than Irish people realise, and it would be wonderful to see a boost for Irish cinema.
Anyway, I’m a bit of a loser, so the rest of ye may proceed as you were….
What does the 405/625 thing mean?
We grew up with 6 channels and I have 12 now. Even that’s too many. I get everything I need online now.
(Despite that, I still have to pay for a TV license)
BBB – My apologies! It was Dermot Morgan they failed to hang onto.
Neil – Yes. That’s sad. Pardon me for my cynicism, but I doubt the chance to appear on TV might buck that shower up. I wonder if they can electronically remove Harney in the interest of public safety??
Darren – Technical explanation coming up…. TV pictures are made up of lines. The modern standard is 625 lines on the screen. In the old days that was 405 lines, which made for a poorer quality picture, and also produced a loud whistle [which is what my tinnitus sounds like now!].
I remember the time of Single Channel Land, where the majority only had RTE [there was no RTE2 then]. Only the East Coast and the North had more than the one channel. Ah! Those were the days.
Now I have about 500 channels, and they are ALL hopeless.
Well, GD I don’t watch TV very often myself, but I’ll tell you what you have is better than over here. All the news programs are full of the likes of Bill O’Reilly or worse still, Bush himself. I just tune it all out and watch the odd movie on Lifetime, television for women. Sad, isn’t it?
I live between Milwaukee and Green Bay- so I could get terrible news from both cities about their drug problems and gang issues… When we first got here we had one of those old tv antennas on the roof and the same winter a storm blew it half off the roof. My husband had to go up there and cut it off so that it would not fall on a kid.
Since then no television- I haven’t had television in about three years and no one has died, even my five kids haven’t died yet. We had about a week of withdrawals and that was it. We have replaced stupid tv with stupid internet.
Grandad,
I used to love 405. When ITV was a network and not a monolith, we used to muck around with coat hangers and bits of wire and be able to get four ITV channels in Somerset: HTV West, HTV Wales, Westward and Southern. After News at Ten they would all go in their own directions.
Being mean, I have a DIY satellite system that costs nothing to run. I bought the dish for €45 and the box for €90 in Power City. It was pre-tuned to hundreds of crap channels, but I just wiped them all and built up our own list from frequencies I got off the Net. RTE will not stand a chance trying to charge when there is so much stuff for free.
Of course, if you were particularly sad, you might flit around the world watching live broadcasts on the Net, which was how I saw the Australian general election results las year.
I still can’t believe you pay for ‘free to air’ TV. I’m with Ian . . get a nice big screen and watch TV on the net! We also have Parliament Question Time on each night that Parliament sits . . .its so disillusioning to see the abyssmal behaviour of grown men on those green benches . . . not worth picking up the remote to watch frankly.
More TV = more crap you don’t really want to watch. The advent of hundreds and hundreds of channels has brought us big brother, Dog the Bounty hunter, Police Camera Action, Celebrity Love Island, repeats of the Late Late, music channels that are restricted to a choice of about 20 songs on any given day, etc.
Very bad things come from too much choice. VERY bad things.
Tricia – If ours is better than yours, then God help you! Mind you, most of our crap is imported from the States!
Michelle – I’m not sure why we have one either. We used to watch a lot, but that is declining with the years [like myself], so we only watch the odd thing. Some nights we don’t bother our backsides.
Ian – The good old days of Redifusion! 405 used to travel one heck of a distance. I remember picking up Spanish TV in County Galway once. Clear as crystal! And you are not mean – you are sensible.
Baino – Hold on to your seat….. Not only do we have to pay a hefty licence fee but we are lumbered with advertisements on top of that. Then they announce that their worst presenter [Pat The Plank] is paid over €600,000 a year! Enough to make the blood boil.
Andrew – That is the point I have always made. The more channels, the worse the crap. This reality shite is really getting on my nerves. Bob Geldoff should be locked in a room and forced to watch it 24 hours a day. He’s the bastard who started the whole genre.
Maybe RTÉ will have a knitting channel. There – you’re sorted.
You can watch the Dail and tear it to pieces on your blog…more blogging less knitting is what’s called for Grandad! Who needs TV when there are so many interesting blogs around!
Sneezy – I hadn’t thought of that. The Aran Channel? I’ll keep an eye out for it.
Natalie – I know my language can deteriorate at times, but if I started reporting on that, then this site would have to be banned.
Only satellite? What does this bode for those of us with fancy super-fast phone/TV/broadband down one fibre-optic cable people?