Open Source body design — 38 Comments

  1. Could do without nose hair. There is nothing more annoying than an itchy nose because of this.

  2. Anti-virus software and a firewall would be nice. Especially if you could block certain people from being able to talk to you.

  3. Le Craic – Are they not necessary for trapping flies and larger chunks of white powder?

    AnFearBui – You haven’t witnessed me after a Vindaloo. Ctl Alt Del = being hit by a bus.

  4. I’d like an on/off switch. Actually no, I’d just like my children to have an on/off switch.

  5. E Mum – On/off is a bit drastic isn’t it? How about a Mute Switch? And a remote control would be essential?

  6. But wait – I appear to already have one – on this site anyway – I have become a ghostly grey figure with no body!!!

  7. Leigh – I missed you there. Welcome! The trouble with anti-virus is that we would have to update it every day. Visits to the doctor would be very expensive? Unless there were ATM type things to plug into all over the place?

  8. first off, I would love my avatar up there, how do I?
    Mods. When I was a nipper, lots of guys wanted a bendy back. Know the way a dog licks himself? Ok Ok, gross maybe.
    An eye in the back of my head. For backstabbers. A button to turn my ears off when the telly is turned on at the office. Plug n Play livers/kidneys/stomachs, available from a vending machine in the jacks at the office. Automatic Bluetooth connection with fine bits of stuff. And of course there are loads of filthy suggestions, but I leave that to your younger commentators.

  9. Well when the kids were small I often wished for ‘eyes in the back of my head’ but after two cataract ops on the eyes I’ve already got, I’m rather glad nature just left it at two. I also often wished for ‘two pairs of hands’ but after three ‘snapping finger and thumb’ ops and one ‘carple tunnel syndrome’ op, I’m contented to just have two hands….(!). I rather like the idea nature devised for seahorses though – with the male giving birth to the kids!!

  10. Kate – I was waiting for that! 😆 Maybe I’ll explain this afternoon with a separate post?

    Kerryview – See above. ‘Though I’m surprised at you balking at the filthy suggestions?

    Geri – If men could have babies, then women would be redundant??????

  11. I am not sure about open source bodies, I mean what happen if you get stuck with a bad beta version? Do you leave automatic upgrades turned on? So often they cause a crash. Blue screen of death can take on a whole new meaning. Perhaps my biggest fear, waht if Microsoft takes over and installs Vista?

  12. Jim – I am stuck with a bad beta version. Leastwise, I have lost most of my data. If Microsoft installed Vista, we would all become bloated, slow and inefficient. Hang on…. isn’t that happening in America already?

    Kate – What would you like as an alternative?

  13. There is nothing better than the real thing – I may be strange but I’m not that strange!!!!

  14. ‘Geri – If men could have babies, then women would be redundant??????’

    Yeah man! We could just lay about all day and watch soaps and eat bonbons…

    Oh -already do that….yawn….perhaps a little nap then..

  15. Yes, but I was thinking there has to be a better way than hair. You didn’t say we had to be constrained by mere reality 🙂

  16. Le craic – A micromesh filter would work, but you wouldn’t be able to enjoy a good nose-pick then. Also a violent sneeze could cause brain damage?

  17. Sinuses are a problem – A doctor once told me that human sinuses are ‘designed’ for and would work better if we went around on all fours.

    So a delete button or anti-snot(spam) filter would be brilliant.

    Oh, and also built in lasers , rocket jets, and build in invisibility device if we are being serious here.

  18. if it was open source, can I change anyone? say Myles Dungan (or any RTE person). Could I mess with the pope? How about Grandad himself?
    Open Source, and there’s me putting limits on it. I should swap my head

  19. Kate/Kerryview – I have put up instructions.

    Dave – Don’t talk to me about sinuses! I know all about ’em [the little buggers]. Do you not think you are going a tad over the top with invisibility and rocket jets?

  20. Kerryview – Open Source means you can redesign the overall concept, not individuals. I agree there are a few twats in RTE that could do with a complete overhaul, or erasure, but Myles Dungan is a grand lad. You can mess with the Pope anytime you like but why me? As far as you are concerned, I am perfect. Fuck off.

  21. I’d love a USB port in my head so the next time I’m trying to describe something from memory I can just plug in a printer and print it off instead!

  22. rubber backbone, bones and joints would make me happy…and not for the aforementioned reason 🙂

  23. Robert – Why not go the whole hog, and go wireless? That way we could read thoughts, and there would be no more misunderstanding?

    Prin – You’d keep falling over. Or do you do that anyway?

  24. yeah, the microfilter idea crossed my mind alright. Looks like you can’t help me Grandad or even offer any solution to the itchy nose problem 🙁

  25. it works! now I’m knackered. thats enough hi-tech for today. I just occurred to me that a third leg (a la tripod) would be useful in the office later this afternoon. A great stabiliser.

  26. well maybe rubber cartiledge and synovial fluid then, especially as we get older. it just seems these things don’t work anymore dang it…

  27. @Le Craic
    If the USB port in the head was implemented you could get a USB nose scratcher?

  28. @Grandad: Wonderful post idea. …most of your ideas were hardware, but you asked for software ideas… and everybody is coming up with great ideas! Love the USB or Wireless idea – and the screensaver.

    I’m going to go with the firmware upgrade.

  29. Replace our legs with a spider-style walker like the Cyborg Reaper from C&C: Tiberian Sun.

    You know what, just make us all into a mix between those reapers and the Avatars from Tiberium Wars 🙂

  30. I like the plug n’play limbs idea, mine keep getting in my way, BUT… what I really want is a decent pair of compatible reproductive systems.

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