I’m sure none of you are interested as to how I got myself a web server, but it’s my blog, so I’ll tell you anyway.
It started a couple of weeks ago, as I mentioned before. I saw this offer on a web site, and it looked geeky. I always wanted to be a geek, because it’s the next best thing to being a yuppy.
Now, as it happens, that company is owned by my old friend Michele. I should point out at this stage that Michele is a man [as far as I know] and he gets very touchy when people call him a woman, so there is nothing untoward going on there. He may fancy me, but I certainly don’t fancy him.
I rang Michele.
"Howya Grandad! What can I do for you?"
"I want one of those server things you are advertising. What are they for."
"Putting web sites on," he sighed.
"I’ll take one."
"Are you sure about that?" he asked. "Do you know anything about setting up servers and maintaining them?"
"Yes," I lied.
Now Michele may be a friend, but he is also a business man. He demanded money. I didn’t mind that as I have plenty old credit cards lying around. I picked one at random, and MaryLou Kawalszki of Florida paid for my server.
I played around with it for a while, looking into various folders and things, but that got boring. I stuck a web site on it. That worked a treat.
On Saturday, I had great fun. I started downloading web sites from the Interweb, and copying them onto my new server.
On Sunday, the server blew up.
I think it may have been the Bank of Ireland web site, or there again, it could have been eBay that caused the problem. But none of the sites worked and I couldn’t connect to the server to fix it.
I like to lurk on ICQ, and fortunately [for me] Paul, who works with Michele logged on. So I sent him a message – "HELP!"
He was very nice about it, considering it was half six on a Sunday evening. He cried for a little while, but eventually he calmed down and he finally got my server running again. He suggested that I might like to take Google.ie off it and put it back where it belonged. He also suggested that I might be having memory problems. I told him it was my age, but he said no, that he meant the server might have memory problems.
So on Monday, I annoyed them all in their office about my server and just to get rid of me, they put in extra memory. It has been running perfectly ever since.
They are a very nice bunch in Blacknight, though they do tend to get a bit hysterical when I ring them, for some reason. They need Prozac.
I have just finished uploading Google Earth onto it, and now I’m going to delete all the stuff in the folder called ‘bin’.
There is an awful lot of rubbish in it.