Every now and then I sail on the ferry to France.
Each time, it crosses my mind that a ship can sink, and what would I so in such an event?
Now I know what to do. I can ring Barry O’Loughlan in Athlone, because he will have instructions and will be able to advise me.
You see, the government, in its wisdom is to produce a booklet on how to deal with large scale emergencies, and every house in the country is to get one. It will tell us what to do with nuclear incidents, chemical spills, major fires and accidents at sea.
So if Barry O’Loughlan is down in the pub, I can phone Mary Murphy in Glenties, or for that matter, anyone in Ireland, and they will tell me what to do on my sinking ferry.
The next time Sellafield blows its top and irradiates Louth, I can phone them and tell them what to do. They will be inundated with calls from every household in the country, because we will all be experts.
Actually, I know what do do in the event of a nuclear incident. I take iodine tablets, because everyone in the country has been sent them too.
Except me. I never got mine. I feel vulnerable.
And every house in the country got a new book on the rules of the road. I never got that either.
I hope Barry O’Loughlan and Mary Murphy get their copies, or I’m sunk.
Has anyone seen my iodine tablets?