What my friends think of me
I was given a nasty little tag by Brianf yesterday.
I am supposed to e-mail my friends and they are to write back and tell me what they think of me.
That could be very dangerous, even supposing they bothered to write back.
I decided to try it though. So I wrote out a quick mail ..
Dear [fill in as appropriate]
I have been asked to ask you what you think of me.
Please be honest.
Yours faithfully
Grandad
The replies I got back
-oOo-
Dear Grandad,
A fine upstanding specimen of your species. One of my better efforts.
Eternally yours
God
-oOo-
Dear Grandad,
I don’t know how yourself and Osama do it, but we’ll find you yet.
George W Bush
President of the Free World
-oOo-
Dear Grandad
Fuck you.
Mary Harney
-oOo-
Dear Grandad,
Are you one of dem peeple who gave me a dig out? If yiz are, de check is in de post. Say nuttin at de tribyounal.
Your friend [and don’t deny it]
Bertie Ahern
-oOo-
Dear Grandad
You’re a cunt
Twenty Major
-oOo-
Dear Grandad
You were fantastic. I have never seen such a big one.
Glenda Gilson
XXXXX
-oOo-
So there you have it. Some people didn’t reply, like Idi Amin and Sharon Ní Bheoláin, but they are probably busy.
I won’t be so nasty as to pass it on. I’m nice like that.
Chicken!
I think you were worried what your real friends would say.
Do you have real friends????? 😉
None who would want to be associated with this….
Cop out! Funny but still a cop out.
By the way I received the same email…..
To whom it may concern,
You’re a cunt.
Twenty Major
Idi Amin is dead so I guess that is why he didn’t reply!
Brianf – Of course it’s a cop out. You don’t honestly think I’m going to write to all my myriads of friends and ask them to write nice things about me? They would all lie through their teeth. Most of the ones who did reply were bad enough.
And Twenty sends that e-mail to everyone. It’s his way of spreading love.
Robert – I wondered why he hadn’t replied in a while. The b*st*rd might have told me…
Looks like Mary’s up for some jiggy Grandad.
Don’t be disgusting. You have just made me throw up all over the floor, and now I have to clean it up again. I won’t sleep tonight now.
Could you please forward God’s email address to me? I have a few questions for the big guy. Thanks!!
~Olga
Olga – His address is BigBoy@heaven.eternity, but I find I have to use a special connection to send there. I’m not quite sure how He’ll react to correspondence with a bra?
Poor old Glenda, in such a state of shock she can’t even spell her own surname right…
Cupid Stunt – Just be grateful I spelt your name right. Actually that was a typo on my part. I confess it wasn’t an e-mail. It was a card she gave me afte, and her hands [amongst other things] were still trembling. Her writing was hard to read..