Proving a point
I bought myself an early Christmas present.
It’s a Barrett M-107 rifle.
I couldn’t wait to play with it, so the other day, Doc and I went off for a bit of hunting.
Tourists are pretty thin on the ground at the moment, but there are still a few around. We just had to rely on luck.
As it happened, we were in luck. We were up in one of the back valleys when Doc pointed. "There you go" he said, pointing to some woods on the far side of the valley. I got out the binoculars, and sure enough there were two of them. They were over a mile away, but I could see they were Canadians by the flags on their rucksacks.
As we watched, one of them got up and pulled down his trousers. He was obviously going to take a dump.
"F*ck" said Doc, "That’s disgusting"
"Quick" says I, "Which one?"
"The one on the right"
So the one on the right it was. I took quick aim and fired.
"Holy God" said Doc. "That was a brilliant shot."
"Not bad" says I. "It’s a damn good gun. And it proves one thing."
"What’s that?"
"Bears don’t shit in our woods!"
And if you don’t believe me, ask that bloke in Chicago who is missing a right testicle.
You do realise, acccording to the Geneva Convention, that you’re not allowed to shoot a people with a Barrett. You are however allowed to shoot at vehicles and at people in vehicles with one.
Are they the yokes that you get half-price with five washing powder carton lids?
Jack – That’s OK. I’m not in Geneva.
Ian – No. But if you want one, I think Gazzer over in Fettercairn in Tallaght is selling them.
Nice rifle. Making a good long distance shot with the ACOG on it isn’t quite as sporting as using iron sights. I like my M99 because it can be single loaded. That way I can build the ammo for specific targets.
Emm.. bet there won’t be any nicking Christmas trees or houses around your neck of the woods this year.
You better put a sign up, Don’t mind the dog, its the owner
you need to watch out for.
Brianf – What I was really looking for was something that would take the engine block out of an armoured tourist bus at about half a mile. Good choice?
Frog – Now that you mention it, there is a very low crime rate in this area for some reason…..
Poor Bruno! Is that what happened to his manhood 😉
I see you need to start saving for Feb 7th. Congratulations! (again)
*sigh*
Actually Grandad that flag on the rucksack is guarantee that they were Canadians.
They tell the yanks to sew on Canadian flags when they go to europe so that people will be nicer to them.
But it plays some hell with our Canadian reputation when them fake Canadian/yanks start acting all Amuricun
Pity you missed this Cull
Most Canadians sew the U.N. flag on their backpacks which they think will get them a nice welcome every where they go…Unfortunately that doesn’t happen as when people see ’em they think they are one of those buggars that are on the take …so people take potshots at em….
Any good .50 cal ball ammo will pierce vehicle armor at under 1000 yards. I prefer to use the 750 grain API* bullets just to make sure. Also using the API’s usually guarantees a good fire to follow.
*API = Armor Piercing Incendiary
Steph – His lack of manhood has nothing to do with me. I belive he tried to jump over a barbed wire fence….
Sean and Robert – I’m too old a hand to be taken in by false flags. I could tell they were Canadians by their walk, anyway. I think it’s something to do with wearing snow-shoes a lot.
SID – Of course I saw that post. I loved the idea of the trip around the world!!
Brianf – Please dispatch 100,000 rounds of API immediately.
Are you using the Cully and Sully pots for target practice?
No, Flirty. Just Canadians and Americans.
Folks, just in case you don’t know how great of a shot that is…
At a mile the bullet from the Barrett will be falling almost straight down when reaching the target. At 1,760 yards the bullet trajectory will show a drop of approximately 90 feet (assuming it was zeroed at 100 yards). And, no, that is not a misprint I said “feet”. Think of a well thrown rock tossed across a pond at a frog on a lily pad and you’ve got the idea. Even a light breeze could throw the bullet off its path by yards before reaching the target.
If the Canuck was squatting then it squats to reason that his junk was hanging below him. The bullet would have entered through the top of his skull which would have exploded from the shock wave, his upper torso would have come apart from the kinetic energy, and his left nut would have probably disappeared with his right and whatever he may have had in the middle as the bullet exited.
I think the guy in Chicago got off easy….
On the other hand, Grandad, you might want to be careful shooting at Canadians. It’s not against the Geneva Convention to shoot at people with a .50 BMG, in fact, two Canadians have the record for the longest sniper kill using the same round. The bad guys they tagged were at over 2,000 meters (1.25 miles) in Afghanistan. And, yes, I did say “guys” they got two of them in a row. Doc might not appreciate you getting him killed too….
JT – So you think I should get a .50 BMG? I’ll send a note to my supplier…….
Grandad – The Barrett M-107 is a .50 BMG being that the .50 BMG is the round that the M-107 fires.
The BMG means Browning Machine Gun. Originally the .50BMG was just that – a big chunk of lead fired through a very fast machine gun (intended by Mr. Browning to shoot down aircraft). It was later chambered in the M82 rifle by the US military for long-range sniping (albeit in Vietnam it was proved a 50 BMG round on a scoped machine gun was extremely effective at long range on human targets). The M82 was later slightly modified and renamed the M107 because some idiot couldn’t figure out how to make his books balance at the war department.
I think the real question is what type of bullet to use. If you’re hunting buses then you’ll need an armor plated version or possibly a depleted uranium round for extra hardness. This should easily destroy even the most hardened engine blocks (and penetrate the occasional tank).
If you’re hunting general targets and you don’t know whether or not you’re going to fire at tourists or buses then I would just use the standard full metal jacket (FMJ) 690 grain boat-tail for the best balance of down-rage kinetic energy and accuracy. It’s a good compromise of weight and ballistics.
If you’re just hunting tourists for fun then might I suggest that you use the M23 incendiary round which will give you a nice light show on anything marginally flammable.
Of course, if you’re particularly pissed-off you could go with the Caliber .50, Armor-Piercing-Incendiary, Mk 211 Mod 0 which is a “combined effects” round in the HEIAP category (High-Explosive-Incendiary-Armor-Piercing). It is easily identified by a green tip with a grey ring and is kept on the top shelf at the local armory.
JT – You’re beginning to confuse me now. All I want to do is carry out Dubya’s wishes and eradicate tourists [and have some great fun in the process]. I think this may call for some experimentation. Can you supply me with 10,000 rounds of each type please?
I must say, incendiary sounds like great craic. I’m not sure about depleted uranium though. I take an anti-nuclear stance. But I suppose, if it’s depleted……
I shall gladly send you 10,000 each of the rounds mentioned above. Payment will be accepted in bottles Irish whiskey. 50% in advance. If I’m still sober after receipt of your initial payment I will also include a few thousand rounds of 50AE for closer handgun practice. You do have a Desert Eagle don’t you?
However, to eradicate tourists in the most effective way may I suggest napalm for large concentrations such as those that congregate at the Guinness plant for tours? All you need are a few hundred gallons of gasoline, a couple hundred pounds of melted soap stirred in, and a distribution device (airplane, large barrels tied together with det-chord, or a flame thrower). You will simultaneously achieve Dubya’s goals of increasing oil prices and removing terrorists.